Chapter Twelve
“Don’t scream. It’s okay.” His hand removed from my mouth as he examined the blade. “Is this Holden’s?”
I took a gigantic breath of air, trying to control my blood pressure. “Yes, it is.”
“Why would he have it laying out?”
“I don’t know! Why would you pretend to kiss me and then tell me not to scream when you put your hand over my mouth and reach for a knife? Are you sane?”
“You’re very jumpy today. That’s why.”
“I’m jumpy because I just kissed the guy I’ve missed since the beginning of time, because you just told me all of those things at the lake, because you reached for a knife oh-so suspiciously, because I’m the jumpy type, and because I saw someone last night.”
“Was it at midnight?” There he goes again. Completely ignoring my whining.
I took a deep, shaky breath. “I don’t know what time it was. I was too busy sleeping and wondering why the hell I let you sleep with me.” The corners of his mouth were edging to go up in a smirk, but he wouldn’t let them. I rolled my eyes.
“You already know why you let Damon. Because you looooove him, right?”
“Maybe I do loooooove him, but he is such a fucking tease sometimes.” He transformed into a full-blown smile, put the knife down on the coffee table, and grinned mischeviously.
“Why do you love him?”
You better not fall asleep, ‘cause I’ll go on forever.
“His abs. Definitely his abs. And his brown hair that is always in a mess. And his math skills. Because without his math skills, I’d fail every single test. Maybe because of his eyes. He has very, very, very nice eyes. I could stare at them forever. And the way he performs this grin that makes my knees shake and I can barely breathe because of the way he’s staring at me and grinning with those eyes and that hair… And the way he writes and breathes and smiles and laughs and stares and sleeps and kisses and…”
He put his finger to my lips, stopping me right then and there. His face was only inches away from mine now. I wanted to kiss him – hold onto him, make sure he couldn’t escape. But he did most of that when he slipped his arms around my waist and brought me closer to him. Closer to his smell, his silent pulse, his invisible beating heart. I wanted him, loved him, lusted for him.
Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik.
I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out why I couldn’t hear anything. It was because my mind was screaming Erik’s name in my face. I’d forgotten all about him. Here I was, my heart pounding against Damon’s no-hearted chest, our forheads touching as we tried not to give in. Give in to what, exactly, I didn’t know, and I wasn’t about to find out.
I shot up, tripped over the coffee table, fell on my back. Damon followed me down, his arms still slipped around my waist. Forgot about that part. How we were connected and stuff. He fell on top of me, not very gently either. I wanted to push him away, I wanted to so badly. But I wasn’t about to become a slut, even though that’s what it seems like I’d become. I sat up, gasping for breath. He sure wasn’t weightless.
When I gently tried to push him off, he stared at me. That’s all he did. All he did was stare at me. And then confusion and hurt flashed his face, and there I was, feeling guilty as anything. I wanted to explain why, wanted to tell him why I didn’t…didn’t what. What was I expecting it to lead into? He was already on top of me for crying out loud.
Maybe, being seventeen, I was experiancing something that proved I’d be eighteen in January. That I was stopping. That I was controlling myself. This was Damon here, the one who I’d promised myself I wouldn’t loose again. And here I was, pushing him away. I was being responsible and loyal, I guess you could say. I really didn’t like it at all, though.
But being seventeen didn’t change emotions, because I started to cry. I started to cry a lot, actually. I slipped my legs out from under him, stood to my feet, and ran out the door, my vision blurred.
I hadn’t even bothered to shut the door on my way out, but I heard it close, and heard the branches break behind me. I started into a sprint, trying to run away from my monster, the one I knew would instantly make me give in. But I wasn’t going to let him. I was going to build those bricks I’d let him break back up. I wasn’t going to give into his lips or his arms or his eyes or his hair or his abs. I was with Erik, still, and only Erik. My parents liked Erik. Holden liked Erik. Josie and Aaron hated Erik, but I never cared. My parents didn’t exactly like Damon. Holden practically loved Damon. Josie and Aaron considered him as a buddy. Logan considered him as a friend, I think. Marcie considered him…wait, no, I didn’t give a shit what Marcie thought.
I ran right into him. I completely collapsed on top of him, of my monster. I’d totally forgotten he was really really really fast at running.
I leaped up, and so did he. But before I could turn away, he snatched my arm.
“Zaylie…”
“I am not giving into you this time…” I murmured.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”
“I have a boyfriend, Damon! Remember Erik? You’ve met him before. You don’t like him as much as Aaron and Josie.” I shook my head, choking on tears. “If you hadn’t left I wouldn’t have Erik. If only you’d stayed…this wouldn’t be like this. I wouldn’t be telling you this, I wouldn’t be screaming at you, I wouldn’t feel guilty, I wouldn’t be acting like an adult when I’m totally not… I…I love Erik, Damon. I honestly do…but I honestly do love you more. And I can’t help this stupid fact, and I can’t help feeling like a slut, and I can’t help the fact that when I was with Erik all I felt, saw was you.”
I was breathing really hard, crying, and just barely standing on my feet. I was just barely able to breathe, with him standing near me and all.
“I don’t…I don’t know what to say… I’m…I’m sorry…it’s just…we were…” He swallowed. “Kissing…just a few hours ago…”
“I-I know we were…and I’m sorry. I am.”
“What are you sorry for?” He took a few steps closer to me. “You’re…making the right decision. You love the guy, he had you first. He-”
“He didn’t have me first! You did! But…Damon, I’m not fifteen anymore. I’m seventeen. You’re twenty-one. Tons have changed since you left. I thought about stashing books away. Now I’m thinking about prom dresses and college!”
“It feels like you expect me to remember everything! I’ve told you all I remember, Zaylie. All I remember is saying goodbye. Knowing all the bad parts that happened to us. I wish I remembered, Zaylie, I really do. It seems to me that if I did we’d probably be married with children right now.”
I bit my lip, tears still a’strollin’ down my face. He studied me, and when his arms extended, I fell into them.
Once he guided me back to the cabin and I’d stopped bawling all over his Metallica shirt, we sat on the couch, my head on his shoulder, my arms hugging his arm, our feet stretched out to the coffee table, my Scooby-Doo blanket covering us. It was only like, 40 degrees outside and the fire wasn’t doing much of anything.
We sat in silence, just staring at the sparkles and ash and red and orange flames until my eyes felt like they were burning. I sighed.
“Ever been to a cabin trip this dramatic?” I whispered.
“Yeah. My brother Daire and I went to a cabin when we were twelve. My dad took us. He said it was just for the fishing, but we thought it was ‘cause of our mother. Daire fell in, Dad went and got him, he got pneumonia. I don’t think that was this dramatic and such, though.”
I laughed. “Yeah…that’s pretty sad, though.”
More silence filled the room. I was almost asleep until I felt arms move. I was laying down, and he was behind me. I thought for sure an arm would make its way around me, but it didn’t happen. Which means I couldn’t fall asleep for a while.
The morning went like this: got up to see Damon on floor, trip over Damon, take a shower, brush teeth, comb hair, get dressed, eat Cara’s burnt waffles,(I mean, really. How the hell can you burn waffles?!) listened to Mom complain about how slow we all are, saw Mom and Dad kiss and about gagged, texted Erik saying I’ll be home tonight, got mischevious glances from Josie and Aaron, Damon laughed at everything I said it seemed, got made fun of because apparently I accidently used Damon’s toothbrush, brushed my teeth again, got my luggage in the van, got the seat on the far right in the back of the van, forced Damon to sit beside me so I wouldn’t keep getting pushed by Josie, got a text from Erik saying he’ll see me later and that he loves me, Damon saw it and rolled his eyes, got iPod out, turned it full blast, texted Damon secretly the entire ride home.
Erik picked me up the next day at six p.m. sharp. He was taking me somewhere, but wouldn’t say where.
I hopped into his truck and we drove off. It was around seven when we finally made it. It was sunset, beautiful sunset. We walked about half a mile to this little clearing on a hill, where you could look out and see the sunset and all.
“This is beautiful,” I whispered, my eyes wide. “Erik…this is beautiful!”
“I know,” He whispered in my ear, his chin resting on my shoulder. “It’s not as beautiful as you, though.” Ahahaha…no. I really didn’t like it when he said that kinda of stuff.
“Well? What about this picnic?”
We put down the white and yellow checkered sheet and sat down on it, opening up the apples and sandwhiches and pickles. Holy Mother of Hell do I love pickles.
I was chewing on one when he brought it up. “So…I went to see Damon. He wasn’t home, so I tried again. Where was he, might I ask?”
My heart skipped a beat, which made me swallow the pickle hole. I could feel it going down my chest, and it hurt.
“Well…I haven’t talked to him in-”
“He was with you, wasn’t he?”
I stared at him. “Okay, yeah. But nothing happened.” Lie.
“You positive? You seem…different.”
“I’m sure, Erik. If anything happened I’d tell you.” Lie.
“Zaylie, tell me the truth. I know you’re lying.”
“Fine! We had hot dirty sex. Are you happy now?”
“Quit with the sarcasm, really.”
“Erik…please. Okay, we slipped. It was just this once. One little kiss, that’s all. There’s nothing to it now. I made that very clear to him.”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“What’s that got-”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“Yes, I did! You’re so fucking jealous over nothing! For fuck’s sake, you’ve went out with Charlotte and I’m not in your face about it!”
We were both standing now, fists clenched, jaws clenched. I guess it was just because it was our first fight, but he hit me. It wasn’t real hard, but it did hurt. And so I shoved him with all the Zaylie strength I had. And then he hit me again, and again, and again. He took me and threw me against a tree. Took me and shoved me to the floor. Kicked my stomach, my thigh. He said some other stuff, and with my ears ringing, I couldn’t hear them. But all I knew he was done, he was over, we were over, and my God did I hurt. I felt like vomiting, felt like I couldn’t breathe, felt like I’d lost a tooth, felt like I was some lost poor child. I was lost at what to do. The pain throughout my body seemed way too much to get up.
With the hand that he didn’t almost pull out of circulation, I dug in my pocket and pulled out my phone. I laid it down, punched in a few letters, hit Aaron, hit send. I wanted to cry, and maybe I was, but the pressure in my chest felt terrible.
I don’t know how long I was laying there, but finally I heard crunching, and saw Aaron’s boots. He turned me over, and I gasped from pain. It wasn’t so bad now, but it still hurt. A lot.
“Holy shit, Zaylie…oh my fucking God will I fucking kill him…Erik did this to you?” I didn’t answer. “Ugh…I will fucking slaughter that bastard…here, can you stand?”
A few minutes later I was standing, my weight on the leg he hadn’t kicked to death. Whenever I swallowed I swallowed blood. He hadn’t hit my eyes, but my forehead, and it hurt. The side of my face hurt.
“I’m sorry, Zaylie…I really am.” My arm was wrapped around his shoulders, his arm around my waist, trying his best to support me.
I just stayed silent. It was all I could do.
He drove me to the hospital, not like I needed it or anything. They checked me out, looked a bit skeptical at Aaron’s story until I nodded that it did happen. I felt like shit, I looked like shit, I was shit. I didn’t have any internal bleeding, but my left arm was sprained and there were bruises wherever it hurt.
When Aaron went out to call everyone, I headed to the bathroom, wincing, but making it. I took a deep breath, looking at myself.
A bruise forming on the left side of my forehead. A bruise forming on the right side of my cheek. A tight bandage around my left arm. A cracked and swollen lip. I slowly pulled the gown up, revealing my legs. A huge swollen spot on my right thigh. I turned around, pulled the gown up further. A bruise forming on my lower back from the rock, a bruise forming on the left side of the middle of my back. I checked my stomach. No swelling, but more scratches. I went and counted up all the scratches. About fifteen. One pretty deep, the rest only looking like rather big papercuts.
When I went back out, I crawled onto the chair again, staring at my feet. I hadn’t been crying just yet. I felt the pressure in my chest still, but they wouldn’t come.
Aaron walked back in, taking my head and pressing it gently against his chest, hugging me. “I’m so sorry, Zee…”
A few minutes later, Mom and Dad walked in, both of them hugging me so gently it seemed as if they were just hovering there. They went to go retrieve information, and then in came Josie, with Damon right behind her. Josie hugged me, not bothering to be careful, and asked me a million times if I was okay. I wasn’t okay, but I nodded. Damon was the only one who didn’t bother asking, he just hugged me, but he hugged me the longest. And right then and there I wanted him to hold me like he held me at the hospital on his eighteenth birthday.
Now, I wanted to go back to the last night at the cabin. For him to say “Fuck Erik. I love you. I had you first. I wouldn’t ever hurt you.”
They wanted me to stay overnight, just in case anything would happen. So Damon stayed, and I told everyone else to go home and sleep.
I scooted over for Damon as soon as Mom and Dad left the room. He squeezed in beside me, wrapped an arm around my neck, and I turned and cuddled myself into him, hugging him, burying my face in his chest. And it didn’t even hurt.
It was then he said, “Are you okay, Zaybee?” My walls broke and I wrapped my sprained arm around him, my tears already falling rapidly down. He kissed my hair, whispered that I was okay now. Told me he was never going to come back for me.
After about an hour or so of crying, I fell asleep. Not a light one, because everytime either of us moved I got awake. But when I did finally wake up, he was staring off into space.
I took a deep breath, checking to see if I’d been drooling. Negetive. “Damon?” I whispered.
He looked at me, smiling. “Hey. Feeling any better?”
I played with a button on his shirt. “Yeah…I guess.” I took another deep, shaky breath. “Damon…why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. Were you telling him something or…?”
“I…he figured out you went w-with me. And then he made me say that you and me kissed, and he got mad…and then I called him jealous and…he kinda hit me. And then I shoved him…and that’s when it started.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry, Zaylie.”
I bit my lip, accidently cracking the cut but not really caring. “Do you wanna see the bruises?”
I felt him tense up to the max, but I didn’t take it back. Instead, I slowly got to my feet, slowly made my way into the bathroom.
The bruises had become faintly purple now. They’d be hugely purple in a few hours, probably.
I took a look in the mirror for a moment, staring at myself. My hair was a mess, my eyes looked red and bloodshot, my forehead looked kind of deformed, my cheek looked kind of deformed but not really, the swelling on my wrist looked like it was dissolving a bit. But everything still hurt everywhere.
When I looked back up at the mirror, I saw Damon, standing there, his face in a concerned expression. But he took a step in, and without looking back at me in the mirror, shut the door behind him, locking it.
He took a few steps toward me, and I could tell he wasn’t sure about this at all. I wasn’t either but I was taking my chances.
I turned around, grabbing his hands, pulling him closer. Then I stepped back a foot and, very slowly, lifted the gown up, uncovering the big, purplish spot. His adam’s apple bobbed as he stared at it, his eyes showing pain. I pulled it up further, revealing my stomach. I swiveled around so he could see my back, and I saw his expression through the mirror. He looked terrified. Worried. I reached back and took his hand, placing it gently on the skin. He didn’t move his hand at all, just kept it there until I moved it across my waist and to my stomach. He took a step forward, and with that I let the gown drop. He wrapped both arms around me, and after brushing my hair out of the way, leaned down and around, pressing his lips gently to my neck.
“Damon...” I whispered, leaning back into him. He gently turned me around, taking me and pressing me to him. He took my chin, lifting it so I met his eyes. I didn’t really have time to gaze into them, because instead he bent down and pecked my lips. Just a quick kiss. That’s all. But, no, the one who had a heart had it beating way too fast, and so it controled her and forced her to kiss him again. Kissed him again, and again, and again.
He pressed us against the wall, our passion growing. I took his hand, interlacing them with mine. He placed them on either side of us, and I didn’t care. All I cared about was he was going to stay with me, for the rest of the night. I wouldn’t fall asleep, I wouldn’t let myself fall asleep.
I loved him.
But before I could say anything, there was a knock on the door. “Ms. Eich? Are you in there?”
He pulled away first, resting his forehead against mine. I took a deep, shaky breath. “Yeah,” I called back.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, sweetie.” With that, I heard the footsteps leave.
Damon replaced his lips to mine, but only for another minute or so. He rested his forehead against mine again as we both panted.
“You’re amazing, Zaylie,” He whispered.
Only with him did I feel truly amazing.
To Be Continued
“Don’t scream. It’s okay.” His hand removed from my mouth as he examined the blade. “Is this Holden’s?”
I took a gigantic breath of air, trying to control my blood pressure. “Yes, it is.”
“Why would he have it laying out?”
“I don’t know! Why would you pretend to kiss me and then tell me not to scream when you put your hand over my mouth and reach for a knife? Are you sane?”
“You’re very jumpy today. That’s why.”
“I’m jumpy because I just kissed the guy I’ve missed since the beginning of time, because you just told me all of those things at the lake, because you reached for a knife oh-so suspiciously, because I’m the jumpy type, and because I saw someone last night.”
“Was it at midnight?” There he goes again. Completely ignoring my whining.
I took a deep, shaky breath. “I don’t know what time it was. I was too busy sleeping and wondering why the hell I let you sleep with me.” The corners of his mouth were edging to go up in a smirk, but he wouldn’t let them. I rolled my eyes.
“You already know why you let Damon. Because you looooove him, right?”
“Maybe I do loooooove him, but he is such a fucking tease sometimes.” He transformed into a full-blown smile, put the knife down on the coffee table, and grinned mischeviously.
“Why do you love him?”
You better not fall asleep, ‘cause I’ll go on forever.
“His abs. Definitely his abs. And his brown hair that is always in a mess. And his math skills. Because without his math skills, I’d fail every single test. Maybe because of his eyes. He has very, very, very nice eyes. I could stare at them forever. And the way he performs this grin that makes my knees shake and I can barely breathe because of the way he’s staring at me and grinning with those eyes and that hair… And the way he writes and breathes and smiles and laughs and stares and sleeps and kisses and…”
He put his finger to my lips, stopping me right then and there. His face was only inches away from mine now. I wanted to kiss him – hold onto him, make sure he couldn’t escape. But he did most of that when he slipped his arms around my waist and brought me closer to him. Closer to his smell, his silent pulse, his invisible beating heart. I wanted him, loved him, lusted for him.
Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik. Erik.
I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out why I couldn’t hear anything. It was because my mind was screaming Erik’s name in my face. I’d forgotten all about him. Here I was, my heart pounding against Damon’s no-hearted chest, our forheads touching as we tried not to give in. Give in to what, exactly, I didn’t know, and I wasn’t about to find out.
I shot up, tripped over the coffee table, fell on my back. Damon followed me down, his arms still slipped around my waist. Forgot about that part. How we were connected and stuff. He fell on top of me, not very gently either. I wanted to push him away, I wanted to so badly. But I wasn’t about to become a slut, even though that’s what it seems like I’d become. I sat up, gasping for breath. He sure wasn’t weightless.
When I gently tried to push him off, he stared at me. That’s all he did. All he did was stare at me. And then confusion and hurt flashed his face, and there I was, feeling guilty as anything. I wanted to explain why, wanted to tell him why I didn’t…didn’t what. What was I expecting it to lead into? He was already on top of me for crying out loud.
Maybe, being seventeen, I was experiancing something that proved I’d be eighteen in January. That I was stopping. That I was controlling myself. This was Damon here, the one who I’d promised myself I wouldn’t loose again. And here I was, pushing him away. I was being responsible and loyal, I guess you could say. I really didn’t like it at all, though.
But being seventeen didn’t change emotions, because I started to cry. I started to cry a lot, actually. I slipped my legs out from under him, stood to my feet, and ran out the door, my vision blurred.
I hadn’t even bothered to shut the door on my way out, but I heard it close, and heard the branches break behind me. I started into a sprint, trying to run away from my monster, the one I knew would instantly make me give in. But I wasn’t going to let him. I was going to build those bricks I’d let him break back up. I wasn’t going to give into his lips or his arms or his eyes or his hair or his abs. I was with Erik, still, and only Erik. My parents liked Erik. Holden liked Erik. Josie and Aaron hated Erik, but I never cared. My parents didn’t exactly like Damon. Holden practically loved Damon. Josie and Aaron considered him as a buddy. Logan considered him as a friend, I think. Marcie considered him…wait, no, I didn’t give a shit what Marcie thought.
I ran right into him. I completely collapsed on top of him, of my monster. I’d totally forgotten he was really really really fast at running.
I leaped up, and so did he. But before I could turn away, he snatched my arm.
“Zaylie…”
“I am not giving into you this time…” I murmured.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”
“I have a boyfriend, Damon! Remember Erik? You’ve met him before. You don’t like him as much as Aaron and Josie.” I shook my head, choking on tears. “If you hadn’t left I wouldn’t have Erik. If only you’d stayed…this wouldn’t be like this. I wouldn’t be telling you this, I wouldn’t be screaming at you, I wouldn’t feel guilty, I wouldn’t be acting like an adult when I’m totally not… I…I love Erik, Damon. I honestly do…but I honestly do love you more. And I can’t help this stupid fact, and I can’t help feeling like a slut, and I can’t help the fact that when I was with Erik all I felt, saw was you.”
I was breathing really hard, crying, and just barely standing on my feet. I was just barely able to breathe, with him standing near me and all.
“I don’t…I don’t know what to say… I’m…I’m sorry…it’s just…we were…” He swallowed. “Kissing…just a few hours ago…”
“I-I know we were…and I’m sorry. I am.”
“What are you sorry for?” He took a few steps closer to me. “You’re…making the right decision. You love the guy, he had you first. He-”
“He didn’t have me first! You did! But…Damon, I’m not fifteen anymore. I’m seventeen. You’re twenty-one. Tons have changed since you left. I thought about stashing books away. Now I’m thinking about prom dresses and college!”
“It feels like you expect me to remember everything! I’ve told you all I remember, Zaylie. All I remember is saying goodbye. Knowing all the bad parts that happened to us. I wish I remembered, Zaylie, I really do. It seems to me that if I did we’d probably be married with children right now.”
I bit my lip, tears still a’strollin’ down my face. He studied me, and when his arms extended, I fell into them.
Once he guided me back to the cabin and I’d stopped bawling all over his Metallica shirt, we sat on the couch, my head on his shoulder, my arms hugging his arm, our feet stretched out to the coffee table, my Scooby-Doo blanket covering us. It was only like, 40 degrees outside and the fire wasn’t doing much of anything.
We sat in silence, just staring at the sparkles and ash and red and orange flames until my eyes felt like they were burning. I sighed.
“Ever been to a cabin trip this dramatic?” I whispered.
“Yeah. My brother Daire and I went to a cabin when we were twelve. My dad took us. He said it was just for the fishing, but we thought it was ‘cause of our mother. Daire fell in, Dad went and got him, he got pneumonia. I don’t think that was this dramatic and such, though.”
I laughed. “Yeah…that’s pretty sad, though.”
More silence filled the room. I was almost asleep until I felt arms move. I was laying down, and he was behind me. I thought for sure an arm would make its way around me, but it didn’t happen. Which means I couldn’t fall asleep for a while.
The morning went like this: got up to see Damon on floor, trip over Damon, take a shower, brush teeth, comb hair, get dressed, eat Cara’s burnt waffles,(I mean, really. How the hell can you burn waffles?!) listened to Mom complain about how slow we all are, saw Mom and Dad kiss and about gagged, texted Erik saying I’ll be home tonight, got mischevious glances from Josie and Aaron, Damon laughed at everything I said it seemed, got made fun of because apparently I accidently used Damon’s toothbrush, brushed my teeth again, got my luggage in the van, got the seat on the far right in the back of the van, forced Damon to sit beside me so I wouldn’t keep getting pushed by Josie, got a text from Erik saying he’ll see me later and that he loves me, Damon saw it and rolled his eyes, got iPod out, turned it full blast, texted Damon secretly the entire ride home.
Erik picked me up the next day at six p.m. sharp. He was taking me somewhere, but wouldn’t say where.
I hopped into his truck and we drove off. It was around seven when we finally made it. It was sunset, beautiful sunset. We walked about half a mile to this little clearing on a hill, where you could look out and see the sunset and all.
“This is beautiful,” I whispered, my eyes wide. “Erik…this is beautiful!”
“I know,” He whispered in my ear, his chin resting on my shoulder. “It’s not as beautiful as you, though.” Ahahaha…no. I really didn’t like it when he said that kinda of stuff.
“Well? What about this picnic?”
We put down the white and yellow checkered sheet and sat down on it, opening up the apples and sandwhiches and pickles. Holy Mother of Hell do I love pickles.
I was chewing on one when he brought it up. “So…I went to see Damon. He wasn’t home, so I tried again. Where was he, might I ask?”
My heart skipped a beat, which made me swallow the pickle hole. I could feel it going down my chest, and it hurt.
“Well…I haven’t talked to him in-”
“He was with you, wasn’t he?”
I stared at him. “Okay, yeah. But nothing happened.” Lie.
“You positive? You seem…different.”
“I’m sure, Erik. If anything happened I’d tell you.” Lie.
“Zaylie, tell me the truth. I know you’re lying.”
“Fine! We had hot dirty sex. Are you happy now?”
“Quit with the sarcasm, really.”
“Erik…please. Okay, we slipped. It was just this once. One little kiss, that’s all. There’s nothing to it now. I made that very clear to him.”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“What’s that got-”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“Yes, I did! You’re so fucking jealous over nothing! For fuck’s sake, you’ve went out with Charlotte and I’m not in your face about it!”
We were both standing now, fists clenched, jaws clenched. I guess it was just because it was our first fight, but he hit me. It wasn’t real hard, but it did hurt. And so I shoved him with all the Zaylie strength I had. And then he hit me again, and again, and again. He took me and threw me against a tree. Took me and shoved me to the floor. Kicked my stomach, my thigh. He said some other stuff, and with my ears ringing, I couldn’t hear them. But all I knew he was done, he was over, we were over, and my God did I hurt. I felt like vomiting, felt like I couldn’t breathe, felt like I’d lost a tooth, felt like I was some lost poor child. I was lost at what to do. The pain throughout my body seemed way too much to get up.
With the hand that he didn’t almost pull out of circulation, I dug in my pocket and pulled out my phone. I laid it down, punched in a few letters, hit Aaron, hit send. I wanted to cry, and maybe I was, but the pressure in my chest felt terrible.
I don’t know how long I was laying there, but finally I heard crunching, and saw Aaron’s boots. He turned me over, and I gasped from pain. It wasn’t so bad now, but it still hurt. A lot.
“Holy shit, Zaylie…oh my fucking God will I fucking kill him…Erik did this to you?” I didn’t answer. “Ugh…I will fucking slaughter that bastard…here, can you stand?”
A few minutes later I was standing, my weight on the leg he hadn’t kicked to death. Whenever I swallowed I swallowed blood. He hadn’t hit my eyes, but my forehead, and it hurt. The side of my face hurt.
“I’m sorry, Zaylie…I really am.” My arm was wrapped around his shoulders, his arm around my waist, trying his best to support me.
I just stayed silent. It was all I could do.
He drove me to the hospital, not like I needed it or anything. They checked me out, looked a bit skeptical at Aaron’s story until I nodded that it did happen. I felt like shit, I looked like shit, I was shit. I didn’t have any internal bleeding, but my left arm was sprained and there were bruises wherever it hurt.
When Aaron went out to call everyone, I headed to the bathroom, wincing, but making it. I took a deep breath, looking at myself.
A bruise forming on the left side of my forehead. A bruise forming on the right side of my cheek. A tight bandage around my left arm. A cracked and swollen lip. I slowly pulled the gown up, revealing my legs. A huge swollen spot on my right thigh. I turned around, pulled the gown up further. A bruise forming on my lower back from the rock, a bruise forming on the left side of the middle of my back. I checked my stomach. No swelling, but more scratches. I went and counted up all the scratches. About fifteen. One pretty deep, the rest only looking like rather big papercuts.
When I went back out, I crawled onto the chair again, staring at my feet. I hadn’t been crying just yet. I felt the pressure in my chest still, but they wouldn’t come.
Aaron walked back in, taking my head and pressing it gently against his chest, hugging me. “I’m so sorry, Zee…”
A few minutes later, Mom and Dad walked in, both of them hugging me so gently it seemed as if they were just hovering there. They went to go retrieve information, and then in came Josie, with Damon right behind her. Josie hugged me, not bothering to be careful, and asked me a million times if I was okay. I wasn’t okay, but I nodded. Damon was the only one who didn’t bother asking, he just hugged me, but he hugged me the longest. And right then and there I wanted him to hold me like he held me at the hospital on his eighteenth birthday.
Now, I wanted to go back to the last night at the cabin. For him to say “Fuck Erik. I love you. I had you first. I wouldn’t ever hurt you.”
They wanted me to stay overnight, just in case anything would happen. So Damon stayed, and I told everyone else to go home and sleep.
I scooted over for Damon as soon as Mom and Dad left the room. He squeezed in beside me, wrapped an arm around my neck, and I turned and cuddled myself into him, hugging him, burying my face in his chest. And it didn’t even hurt.
It was then he said, “Are you okay, Zaybee?” My walls broke and I wrapped my sprained arm around him, my tears already falling rapidly down. He kissed my hair, whispered that I was okay now. Told me he was never going to come back for me.
After about an hour or so of crying, I fell asleep. Not a light one, because everytime either of us moved I got awake. But when I did finally wake up, he was staring off into space.
I took a deep breath, checking to see if I’d been drooling. Negetive. “Damon?” I whispered.
He looked at me, smiling. “Hey. Feeling any better?”
I played with a button on his shirt. “Yeah…I guess.” I took another deep, shaky breath. “Damon…why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. Were you telling him something or…?”
“I…he figured out you went w-with me. And then he made me say that you and me kissed, and he got mad…and then I called him jealous and…he kinda hit me. And then I shoved him…and that’s when it started.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry, Zaylie.”
I bit my lip, accidently cracking the cut but not really caring. “Do you wanna see the bruises?”
I felt him tense up to the max, but I didn’t take it back. Instead, I slowly got to my feet, slowly made my way into the bathroom.
The bruises had become faintly purple now. They’d be hugely purple in a few hours, probably.
I took a look in the mirror for a moment, staring at myself. My hair was a mess, my eyes looked red and bloodshot, my forehead looked kind of deformed, my cheek looked kind of deformed but not really, the swelling on my wrist looked like it was dissolving a bit. But everything still hurt everywhere.
When I looked back up at the mirror, I saw Damon, standing there, his face in a concerned expression. But he took a step in, and without looking back at me in the mirror, shut the door behind him, locking it.
He took a few steps toward me, and I could tell he wasn’t sure about this at all. I wasn’t either but I was taking my chances.
I turned around, grabbing his hands, pulling him closer. Then I stepped back a foot and, very slowly, lifted the gown up, uncovering the big, purplish spot. His adam’s apple bobbed as he stared at it, his eyes showing pain. I pulled it up further, revealing my stomach. I swiveled around so he could see my back, and I saw his expression through the mirror. He looked terrified. Worried. I reached back and took his hand, placing it gently on the skin. He didn’t move his hand at all, just kept it there until I moved it across my waist and to my stomach. He took a step forward, and with that I let the gown drop. He wrapped both arms around me, and after brushing my hair out of the way, leaned down and around, pressing his lips gently to my neck.
“Damon...” I whispered, leaning back into him. He gently turned me around, taking me and pressing me to him. He took my chin, lifting it so I met his eyes. I didn’t really have time to gaze into them, because instead he bent down and pecked my lips. Just a quick kiss. That’s all. But, no, the one who had a heart had it beating way too fast, and so it controled her and forced her to kiss him again. Kissed him again, and again, and again.
He pressed us against the wall, our passion growing. I took his hand, interlacing them with mine. He placed them on either side of us, and I didn’t care. All I cared about was he was going to stay with me, for the rest of the night. I wouldn’t fall asleep, I wouldn’t let myself fall asleep.
I loved him.
But before I could say anything, there was a knock on the door. “Ms. Eich? Are you in there?”
He pulled away first, resting his forehead against mine. I took a deep, shaky breath. “Yeah,” I called back.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, sweetie.” With that, I heard the footsteps leave.
Damon replaced his lips to mine, but only for another minute or so. He rested his forehead against mine again as we both panted.
“You’re amazing, Zaylie,” He whispered.
Only with him did I feel truly amazing.
To Be Continued