Chapter Thirteen
My eyes slowly opened, revealing the bright white lights. I could see them clearly – they all painted nice smiles on their face, telling me it’s okay. No, it wasn’t. I wanted to scream. The pain was too fucking much…too fucking much to handle. It was a deep, empty pain inside of me. Deeper than knives, deeper than the heart, the black ink that slowly seeps through the cages…
I tried to whisper the name, but I couldn’t. It was like I couldn’t talk, couldn’t move. They wore white gas masks, and they scared the living shit out of me because I couldn’t see their faces. The white lights were almost blinding me now.
I felt a sharp pinch, and when I looked at my numb hand, they were injecting me with something from a long-ass needle you would see for a bone marrow transplant. They were injecting it into my wrist, and I wanted to scream, to cry, to run away as fast as I can. A gas masked man was staring down at me. I couldn’t see his face, but yet I felt the same familiarity as if I knew who he was. He slowly took the mask off, revealing his face.
I screamed.
I grabbed the nearest person I could find and hid behind them, shaking.
“Zaylie? What’s wrong? You okay?”
I slowly opened my eyes, looking around me. Damon was turned, facing me, a concerned expression on his face. I slowly stood up, letting go of Damon’s leg, biting my lip. Logan just completely stared at me like I was an idiot. Holden and Aaron raised their eyebrows.
“Um…yeah…fine…”
“Pretty little liar you got there, Dee.” Logan grabbed my arm, gently guiding me back to the bed. “What’d you see, Zee?”
“N-Nothing! I…was just…sleepwalking.”
“Right. Because sleepwalkers really do scream like that.” Holden sat on the bed beside me. I then realized the room was nothing but the guys, and Logan was strangely here too. Huh. “Zaylie, you’re my sister. You don’t sleepwalk.”
“She talks in her sleep though,” Aaron mumbled loud enough for all of us to hear. He turned to Damon. “No news for you, that right?”
Oh mother of hell. Everything was coming back to me. Erik, bruises, sprained wrists, cuts, kissing, making out, sharing blankets, falling asleep, waking up to a group of guys standing around us. Oh shit. All of them know.
A head poked out of the door. “Get dressed, girlie. We’re taking you home. Your parents and Holden are going to Cara’s…I think.”
“Damnit! I forgot all about that!” Holden snatched his jacket from the couch. “Seeya, folks.” And followed Josie out the door.
“Wait…so who’s taking me home?”
“Well, we’re supposed to, but we’re stopping at a basketball game really quick. Just for you, Zaylie,” Aaron replied, smirking.
“No, really,” I said.
“Hollywood.” Damon threw a bag of clothes at me. “Get dressed.”
“No, not Hollywood. Hollywood sucks. We’re taking you to…uh…”
I walked out of the room and to the bathroom before they could gabber any longer.
My bruises looked terrible and it hurt everytime I took a step. But other than that I looked okay. The swelling on my cheek didn’t even bruise – it was just red. I had a bruise on my forehead, though, and that hurt like hell. The one that hurt the most was the bruise on my heart.
Once I came back out, it was only Damon. I stared at the now almost empty room in confusion.
“They got tired of waiting,” He simply stated. He gently put my good hand in his, interlacing them together, grinning. “They simply will not drop it.”
I laughed, shaking my head. I squeezed his hand in mine, let go, and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. “They never will. Trust me.”
Trust me. When we were on the tire swing, about ready to hop off into the lake…Erik had told me to trust him. Trust him that I wouldn’t drown. Trust him…
“Zaylie.” I looked up at him. “He’s not coming back.”
The car ride consisted of a few things. One, I was forced to sit on Damon’s lap, which got us both tons of winks and comments. Two, Logan was driving, which meant I made sure everyone’s seatbelts were buckled. Three, everytime the car bumped, I nearly fell on Aaron’s lap. Four, the car was jammed packed with junk, so there wasn’t anywhere to sit but his lap. Five, I honestly didn’t really give a fork. And six: Damon’s hand kept traveling up my back.
We didn’t go home, of course. Instead we went to the park, where everyone but Aaron and I played basketball. Aaron? No basketball? Well, I couldn’t play, so they took pity and every so often would switch. Joy.
As I watched them yell and scream and shoot hoops, I thought about something. It was something that I’d been meaning to ask Aaron for a while now.
“Aaron…how’re you and Josie getting along? I mean, with the pregnancy and all. Because you’ve not graduated yet and you’re already trying for a baby it seems like, so…”
“We’re…fine, I guess.” He still didn’t look too sure. “I mean…I guess it’s just all this…I don’t know, stress, but…I don’t know. Nevermind.”
“Aaron…”
“I don’t know! It’s…all she wants is yogurt and bread. That’s it. If I even try to hug her, she’s all ‘I feel nauseous. Don’t want to puke on your shoes.’ I mean, I’m her fiance! I don’t really care if she pukes all over my shoes. I’ll still love her!”
I shook my head. “Horomones, Aaron. It’s not you, it’s her. And before you say anything, I’ll have you know I haven’t really talked to Josie all that much. Like, those girl talks we usually have over the phone every single night. So I don’t know any insides to tell you.”
Aaron took a deep breath, then another, as if he was trying to calm down. Josie really does get people reared up sometimes.
It was a little after seven when everyone left that I realized the prom was coming up in two weeks. Two fucking weeks. And that I had school tomorrow. I had to face everyone. Erik was in none of my classes, which was a very good thing, but everyone would probably know.
As I sat in my room, laying down, staring up at the ceiling, I realized something. I had never said those nauseating words to Damon. Ever. Yeah, in that letter to him that he never received, but I never actually told him. And he never actually told me. He always just simply called me “amazing” or “hot” or “gorgeous”. But neither of us actually told eachother how we feel. I usually commented on how is breath smelled, if it smelled like slushies or gum or something. I’ve really wanted to. I have. I practically told him multiple times – when we were yelling in the woods because I couldn’t be with him…I’d told him I loved him more than Erik. Totally true. Still is.
But the thing is…staring at Aaron and Josie spooning up like little kittens…Damon and I could never actually have that. We could physically spoon up like little kittens, but…we could never feel the “always” in there. We could never say “I will be with you always”. We could never feel the security of eachother. I do feel safe and secure when he’s around, but I won’t ever be able to know he’ll be there forever. I could loose him today, I could’ve already lost him, I could just let him slip away…
I felt a vibration on my thigh, which made me tense up from shock. I took a deep breath when it vibrated again. I fished my phone out of my jeans pocket.
“Hello?”
“Zaylie? Uh, this is Damon…I need to talk to you…”
“Are you okay? Your voice sounds off…”
“Yeah…I have a headache, that’s all. Just like…meet me somewhere? Or come over or something.”
I thought for a moment. It was around 9:30 at night. And then I thought of something else. I can so totally drive now.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
And I was there by seven. He was sitting on his black leather couch, staring off into space, his bare feet propped up on the coffee table. I slowly shut the door, locking it. When I turned around, he was still staring, but slowly turned his eyes toward me. Something inside of me shut down when I saw his expression. It wasn’t exactly he was high, but his pupils were huge and he looked worried. Maybe he was just drunk. I don’t know, but he looked sick in some kind of way, and it scared the living shit out of me. I’d never seen him sick, and if he was sick, I didn’t know what to do.
“Damon…?” I whispered, walking over to him. “You look terrible…are you okay?” I sat down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He slowly leaned, or fell, over and rested his head on my lap.
“I’m sick, Zaylie.” He swallowed. “I’m really…sick.”
“You look it. What happened?”
“I…I don’t know…I…my body hurts, Zaylie…” And it was then I heard it. A deep, growling sound. My heart sped up as I stared at him, wide-eyed. When he put his hand on my knee, I saw where he’d been scratching. I swallowed back my bile.
“Damon…maybe…maybe I should call Aaron…or Logan…”
He jolted, groaning with pain. “No...just…” Another jolt made me shoot up. He fell off the couch, landing on the edge of the coffee table so the coffee table flipped to its side. He hurriedly took his shirt off, revealing the sweat beneath it. He was drenched. When he looked over at me, I could see his pupils were now fully dialted – literally, there was no green around his eyes anymore.
I dug my phone out of my pocket, not giving a damn what he said. I texted Aaron, telling him to get his ass over to Damon ASAP.
I slowly met his gaze on me. He was breathing heavily, panting, staring at me with his now black eyes. I was terrified. This was the first time I was terrified of Damon. I wanted to be anywhere but there. I wanted to be at home, in my bed, all curled up and ready to go to sleep.
But no. I was standing there, praying and hoping he didn’t start growing fangs. But no. The fangs came. They were huge – big, white teeth. His bottoms were sprouting up too, and he could feel it, because he howled, literally howled and shot his head back. And that’s also where he vomited. Just took one big gulp of air, another jolt, and he turned over and out it came. I felt like death.
I also felt guilty. He was alone, vomiting and probably experiancing the most painful thing he ever had to face, and there was Zaylie, staring like a little girl at a daddy long leg. He needed someone, maybe, and there was no one else but Zaylie. Damn this life.
I slowly took a step forward, biting my lip. I felt the crack I already still had split, blood leaking into my mouth. Before I could retreat, though, he shot up and soon I was pressed against the wall, the picture of Aaron, Josie, him and me falling down at the force. The bruises on my back screamed at me. He was squeezing my arms, a little too hard at that, but I couldn’t feel it because his eyes were staring deep into mine. And when I say deep I mean it. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him. He just stood there, grasping me, staring down into my eyes until another jolt sent him spiraling to the floor. I blinked, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy, but it quickly passed when the door opened and in came Aaron, wide-eyed as I’d ever seen him.
Damon glanced over at him, but then quickly went back to shaking like a leaf.
“What the hell is going on?” Aaron asked, quickly walking over to me.
“I…I don’t know…he told me to come over, I came, and…he was sick, and he told me he didn’t really know how he got sick…”
“That’s not sick to me! That’s…that’s…I don’t even know what that is!”
“We’ve gotta do something, Aaron…he told me his whole body hurts...”
As I watched Damon, I could see Aaron studying me from the corner of my eye. I slowly looked back at him, and suddenly he was shaking his head.
“You’re loosing your cool, Zee. You need to go home.”
I was totally about to slap him. “Go home? You want me to go home?! What the fuck am I supposed to do there?! Just sit around and hope Damon doesn’t die a slow and painful death? Like fucking hell am I going home!”
“Fine, fine! Calm down! I’ll just call Logan…”
While he punched in numbers and shit, I slowly made my way over to the squirming beast. I slowly sat down beside him, swallowing back my fear. This was Damon. What could he possibly do to me? Tucking my legs under me, I slowly reached down to at least touch him. When I did, he whimpered, whimpered, and slowly looked up at me. I gave a little smile, trying to find some sort of relief he was still in there. His eyes gazed up at me, and with that, rolled over and vomited. I felt like utter death.
Soon I was stood, standing behind Aaron, staring at him. He turned around to look at me. “Logan said to stay away from him. He’ll be over in a couple minutes.”
“What is happening?!” I yelled. “He’s lying there, fangs coming out, his eyes black, vomiting, sweating, having weird jolts…”
“He said he’d explain everything when he gets here.”
And in came Logan, slamming the door shut. Without a word, he grabbed our elbows and shoved us in the bedroom, closing the door behind him and locking it.
“What the hell!?” I yelled.
“You guys are safe in here. It won’t happen this time.” He turned around, facing us. He locked his eyes with mine. “Your boyfriend out there didn’t get any form of lethal injection, sweet cakes.” I apparently just stared at him, wide-eyed. “It’s a thing called ‘metamorphosis’. You’ve both heard it before. He’s going through a stage right now.” He took a deep breath. I recognized that expression – Logan was kind of scared. More anxious then anything. “He’ll be himself in a few hours at the most. When did he start?”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t blink. I couldn’t close my hanging jaw. All I could do is think, and the thoughts weren’t so nice. Hell, I didn’t like the thoughts at all.
“Zaylie!”
I slowly sat down, swallowing back even more bile. “I…he called me…nine thirty. He…he was already sick when…I-I got here…”
“That’s the thing, Zee. He’s not sick at all. It’s not something you can give him soup and he’ll be all better in a few days. This lasts for a very long time.”
“Hold your fucking horses.” We stared at Aaron. “Metamorphosis. What the hell exactly is he changing into?”
He shrugged. Shrugged. Shrugged. “I don’t know yet. We might not until he fully changes.” Changes. Changes. Changes.
“And when will this be?”
“A few times…?” Times. Times. Times.
“I want to see him.” I didn’t know it was my voice until Logan replied.
“If you want to kill yourself, go right ahead. He doesn’t know what’s happening, he’s afraid…whatever is happening, it has at least a tint of control over him.” Tint. Tint. Tint.
“What is there to talk about!? From the way you were acting, all you really needed was just a tint more than a hug.”
“A tint? A tint?! You were like…all over me!”
“…he get this way?”
“I…they might’ve put him in with it? It might explain the scars.”
I didn’t here anything else except the low “Zaylie…” coming from outside the door. I shot up and my hands were clenched on the lock, but a big hand held the lock.
“You really shouldn’t, Zaylie.”
“Fuck you.” I slapped his hand away and swung the door open. I charged out, went around the couch, and was collapsed on by a Damon. I fell on the couch, where he just slumped on me. I really didn’t care, because when he slowly opened his eyes, they were green. And I saw no fangs and he wasn’t jolting.
“You okay, Damon?” I whispered, brushing the hair out of his face. He opened his eyes again, keeping them open and staring up at me.
“No,” He whispered back. “I need toothpaste and a shower and a hug and a slushie.”
So, we had to skip the slushie part, but after he took a ten minute shower and brushed his teeth five and got hugged around seven, he came back out and sat down with us.
“So…what was that?” He asked, putting his feet up on the now upright coffee table. Oh, and, his neat-freakiness was still with him. He mopped the vomit up several times just to make sure.
“Do you remember anything about your time up in the North?” Logan questioned. Damon slowly shook his head. “Not a thing?”
“Well…I remember the gas masks. That’s about all though.”
Gas masks. It hit me like a truck, but I couldn’t remember where I’d heard it.
“You’re going through ‘metamorphosis’. You’re body is slowly changing into something, but it’s doing so in stages. I don’t know how many or what you’ll be changing into, but I do know you need to be alone. Whatever it is will slowly start to control you more and more during the stages.”
We all stared at Damon. He looked like he already knew all of this. But his expression turned to a tint of worry. Tint. Tint. Tint.
“So…no one knows…like…what I’ll become and when?”
“If it’s second to last stage then maybe we’ll know what and when. Do you think they injected you or do you think they put you with it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m tired. I feel like shit. My pillow is calling to me. I think I’ll be fine for the next twelve hours or so, right?”
Logan rolled his eyes. “Fine, sleep.”
Aaron was the first to stand. “I think that sounds better than pie.” He looked at me. “You need a ride?”
I shook my head. “No. I took the van.”
“Okay. Well then. Goodnight, folks.” He took a deep breath as if picturing everything he saw tonight, then continued to the door and walked out, not bothering to shut it behind him.
Then Logan left, yawning more than ever.
But, of course, when I went to leave, the door was slammed shut before my eyes and I was turned around and staring up into those amazing green eyes. And then I noticed he had no shirt on, which made me really want to stare at those abs.
Be a good girl, Zaylie. Be a good girl.
With that, I kissed him a quick goodbye, and his hand removed from the door so I could step out.
I don’t think I could’ve been more bored.
I had my yellow dress. I was all set and ready to go with new earrings, new heels (well, my first pair of heels. I could see it then – I’d have blisters lining my feet for the next year), a bracelet to match my dress, some nail polish, mascara, and a mini purse. But no. Josie and Cara were going full out – staring at dresses for an hour, trying them on for two or three; looking at tiaras; staring at wallets, staring at nail polish, buying about three-thousand plus new designer jeans that didn’t even relate to the prom at all.
So, as they were moaning about Josie’s belly bump, I decided I wanted a slushie. As I slowly walked toward the counter labeled Slushies – $3.00 , I felt a hand on my arm. The new scar on my lip quivered as I cringed.
I slowly turned around, staring up at him. He had brown, greying hair. His eyes were a deep, dark green – amazing green eyes. I could stare into them for hours. His jaw was set tightly, and his grip on my arm lightened.
He wasn’t talking to me, just staring at me. I couldn’t help but stare at him back – he looked like he needed a nap or two. And he looked familiar. Very familiar. I don’t know if it’s because my jaw dropped or not, but he let go and started pacing off before I could say a word.
I wanted to chase after him. I wanted to demand to know who he was, where he came from. But another hand was on my other arm, swinging me around to face her.
“Who was that?”
I shrugged, staring at Josie, biting my lip.
“Well…he grabbed you like you two were pals or something.”
Again, I shrugged. I took a deep breath, clearing my throat. “Nothing. He thought I was someone else.”
Cara’s eyes were staring at me, studying me. And I knew she knew it was way more than that, because my knees felt like jell-o. I felt like jell-o.
After we bought Josie’s neon green dress, we made our way out to Cara’s car. I’d just gotten my stuff into the trunk when I got a text from Logan.
where r u??!!
I rolled my eyes. Always so fucking pushy.
Having a life!!! Why??
u need 2 get 2 aarons bring josie n holden
Why?? Tell me!
d now get ur asses here
I took a breath, turning my phone off. Whatever it was it sounded urgent. But what wasn’t urgent anymore?
As we got to my house, I thanked Cara for taking us and dragged Josie and our stuff into the house. I showed Josie the messages, grabbed Holden, and made him drive to Aaron’s, who lived a few blocks away. But we didn’t have time to walk.
Once there, we stopped short. There was a car – a black van with black windows. It was never there before. I squeezed my already tight fists.
We stumbled into the house, stopping short again. There was the man from the slushie stand – green eyes and everything. He was standing next to the panting and heaving and black-eyed Damon. Not black-eyed, like bruises. The green was captured by the pupils it seemed like.
“Aaron…” Josie started.
“What the hell is this?” Holden demanded. We all turned to him, staring at him. He had no idea of anything. All he knew was Damon was good at basketball.
“We don’t have time to explain,” Logan replied. He looked different – a bit more tired-looking than he usually looked. He wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes.
“Who is he?” I demanded, pointing the Mr. Green-eyes.
“The one and only Mr. Slade,” Logan answered quickly, looping one of Damon’s arms around his shoulders.
Whoa. Hold those horses. They wanted me to just…
“Let’s go, Zaylie!” Aaron yelled, snatching my arm.
“Where are we going?” I yelled back. “No one is telling me anything that makes sense!”
No one answered me, either. I was smuggled into the black van. ‘Mr. Slade’, Damon, and Logan squeezed in the back, I sat on the floor with Josie, and Aaron and Holden were up front, Aaron driving.
I whirled around, staring up at Logan who sat on a seat behind me. “What in fuck’s name is going on?! What is wrong with him?”
The GPS told Aaron to get on the Northern Highway. That answered one question.
“Logan!” Josie snapped, becoming as impaitent as I was.
“Alright! Well, the metamorphosis thing was a fairytale my dad used to tell me when I was like, eight. I used to think it was real until he told me it wasn’t – it was a failed test. I told you that in case I was wrong.” Thanks for the lie. “I wasn’t there to get all sappy with you, Zaylie. At the carnival. I was supposed to kill Damon, but you and those two were in the way. And so I had to at least do something for my dad.” So you nearly killed them. “As for the whole Marcie and me thing… I know she’s one of them. She’s tried to kill me twice now. I’ve known since I first saw her at the plant – she was a really wild one who made me fall for her. I did. It was shit and I should’ve just let it all go, but I didn’t.”
I waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, I said, “Okay…well…who’s he exactly?”
“Damon’s father. I’m not even kidding.”
“But Damon had blue eyes…”
“Yes, he did.” We all turned to stare wide-eyed at Daddy Slade. “I did too. I used to be with them – back in the 1940’s. I used to test people. But when they had me test Damon, I couldn’t do it. He was my son. I refused, so they took me and a few others to a pit. There, they had us stand along-side the pit. They shot every one of us like Jews. They weren’t Nazis. They didn’t follow Hitler. They didn’t follow anybody but the government. I’m not talking about the White House. Roosevelt had nothing to do with this, and I doubt he had any knowledge of this. It was this separate group that I used to be part of. They called themselves The Order. Yes, they’re the ones who started the ‘New World Order’ conspiracy. We- ”
“Wait, hold on, shut up.” We turned our wide eyes to Holden, who was turned around and staring at us all. “With who? What the fuck is wrong with Damon? Why am I the only clueless one here?!”
Aaron tapped Holden’s arm. “I’ll tell you. Let him tell them.”
We turned back to him as he continued. “We’re creating the army so they will kill the non-believers. I dropped out, though, and got made into one of them. But, just like Damon, I have feelings. And those feelings are because his mother and my wife is still alive.”
My jaw dropped to the floor, the bones scattering across the carpet.
“Sh-Sh-She must be like…eighty…late seventies, early nineties?”
“Yes. Seventy-nine. But she’s still alive, unlike Daire or Demetri.” The Slade Brothers. “Since you know he has emotions because he has something to hold on to…it’s not you. I’m very sorry, Zaylie, but it is Evelyn.”
My jaw was crushed as a fist bought another set of bruises to my heart.
“Evelyn is not alive. She died a bit ago. But-”
“But so did…Mrs. Slade. And Demetri…and Daire…in the house…”
He shook his head. “Set up. We all did great at that. We just didn’t do so well at running away.” He took a deep breath. “Daire and Demetri were caught and taken by them, leaving us with Evelyn, Damon, Mrs. Slade and I. We made the mistake of splitting up. Evelyn and Damon went south, Mrs. Slade and I went north. Mrs. Slade and I got split up, so I went back down south. I couldn’t have searched for her – I figured they got her.
“I met Damon and Evelyn a few months later in Los Angelous.” He shot me a glance. My heart etched up my throat. “They were distant. Like they weren’t there. It took me a couple weeks to get it out of her, but it turned out Evelyn was pregnant. She forced me not to tell him, so I didn’t. He had already lost his brothers and his mother, like I had lost my sons and my wife.
“It was a few weeks after we left LA that they found us. I don’t know what happened to Evelyn and how she came to live, but I know Damon was only a few miles away from the camp I was in. It wasn’t a Jap camp, it was practically a Concentration camp. They had gas chambers, tests, doctors.” He swallowed. “They left me alone, since I was a cop and could help them out. I was an unarmed guard until they told me they’re plans. A few weeks later, Damon had been acting up in his camp and moved to ours.” Another swallow. “His condition was serious. He had whip markings, he had two holes on his forehead, he was a mess. He would scream for hours on end in his cell. He would be put to sleep for days. The two holes on his head only got worst, for it was a punishment. You were disobeying, they put a metal rod on your head and pushed it in so it brushed against your skull. They put another one if you still don’t obey. If you’re still disobeying them, they’ll put two cords on both temples, press a button, and give you a wild electric shock.”
He glanced at Logan. “I saw Marcie Anderson there. She was being chained up to go into the gas chamber, but there was something different from her. Her boyfriend, Frank, was standing next to her. That’s when it happened. She grabbed his chains and wrapped them up around his neck, squeezing tightly. Marcie was a sweet girl. She wouldn’t have ever done anything like that. They shot her instantly. She chose the wrong side, though. They killed her, turned her, and now she’s one of them.”
There was nothing but silence. I stared up from the floor to Josie, who sat there, rubbing her enlarged stomach. Damon was sitting there, pale and sweaty, looking like he could pass out any second. Logan. He was sitting there, staring into space, his face expressionless. He loved her. I knew I could never make him admit it, but he did love her. Just like Damon loved Evelyn. I swallowed the heart in my throat as the next thought erupted my brain. The pain in my chest was too much to describe.
Everything about any guy that I’ve fell for always ended horribly. Logan, for one. We were happy until his dad fucked his mind up. I let him in – physically, emotionally – and he’d screwed it all up. I had helped with that. I knew he wasn’t okay, and I let him be like that. He went and slept with other girls because I wouldn’t let him in anymore. No, I was eyeing Terrence out. I had no feelings left for Logan, and I shut him out while he needed me the most. His dad wasn’t ever Dad of the Year. I could see the bruises on Logan but I didn’t care. And when I found out he’d been with two other girls, I told Aaron he’d used me for sex. He hadn’t. And he lost Aaron’s friendship.
And now Damon. I’d been sleeping with a Dad. No one actually said he was a dad, but he might as well be. Where else would the baby go? I wasn’t the only one who had a Damon Jr. in their tummy. Mine was lost. Maybe the other one wasn’t. Maybe they’re like, sixty right now, with grand-children. Damon has great-grandchildren. I felt sicker as we reached a gas station about an hour later.
After having a battle with Aaron about who was going to pay for drinks, I gave up and let him win. I chugged my water down, then walked over and stood next to Holden, who was staring wide-eyed into space.
“How’re you holding up?” I asked, nudging him.
He swallowed, shaking his head. “I…I don’t know. I mean…I…”
“It’s confusing, I know. You get used to the confusing-ness after a while.” I watered the grass a little. “Trust me, I know.”
“How…how long have you known about all this shit?”
I thought for a moment. “I don’t know…three years ago September? It was a while after I first met Damon and first started at the library.”
He shook his head, biting his lip. “This is…shit, Zaylie. It has to be.”
“It’s not. There’s proof, trust me.”
He looked over at me. “What kind of proof?”
“There’s scars on his back.”
Holden stared at me. “Right.” He stared at me some more. “Did you screw him?”
A flash went through me, and my eyes shot to his. He could see through me like fucking glass.
“Shit, Zaylie! He’s like…twenty-fucking-one and you’re like…what…sixteen!?”
“Seventeen! And…I’m well aware of the age difference. It’s just…well…”
“Was it a goodbye present or something?!”
“No! Well…kind of…”
“Oh my fucking…” He shook his head, collapsing against the wall. “First, I find out that he’s barely even alive. Then I find out he used to swing dance for fun. Now I find out my sister has had hot dirty sex with a ghost. Wow…this is just…”
A ghost. I’d never thought of him that way. Well, because he isn’t. But in a way he is. Because he died, and he came back…whatever.
“How many times? You know, don’t even answer that question.”
I turned to face him. “How many times did you screw Josie?” Ice.
His jaw dropped, his eyes going beyond me. Oh shit on fucking toast. I slowly turned to face the one and only Logan, who, in any relief, had a smile on his face. Good or bad sign, I wasn’t sure which.
“Wait…hold on…”
“I…I didn’t! I swear!” Holdon protested.
Logan waved a hand toward him, his eyes going back to me. “I have a feeling you don’t want to know how long I was standing there with my ears open to the world.”
I gulped in air. “Well...I…”
He studied me for a second, and I totally forgot Holdon had once taught him how to read me like glass too.
“She’s like…sixty something with wrinkles and liver spots, Zee. Not attractive.”
I bit my lip, hiding my eyes from him by looking at his converse. “I wasn’t…I don’t…”
“Hurry your asses up!” Aaron yelled from the car. Josie slowly came out of the store, saw us, and stopped short.
“What’s…?”
“Nothing.” Logan strolled around me, pacing toward the car. I swallowed. Holden followed.
Josie walked over to me, taking my arm. “What’d he say? What’s wrong?”
“It’s…nothing.”
“Zaylie. Come on.”
“It’s everything, Jo! I mean…I feel…like everything inside is too full that I can’t bottle it up anymore. I-I mean…guys in general! And then there’s Marcie, and then there’s Damon Jr. somewhere out there… Mr. Slade is awaiting in the car with the sick Damon…and you’re standing there with a stomach as large as Pluto! Then...then there’s Erik, and Logan, and…”
“Chill, Zee, okay? You’re okay. Everything will get settled, alright? I promise. Text me in the car. Aaron’s giving us his look so we better get going.” I nodded slowly. “I promise, Zee. I really do.”
Once in the car, in the same seating order, I pulled out my Blackberry and started off.
i don’t know jo...its jus everything is so everywhere ya know?
yeah I do actually. damon as a dad? Zaylie that’s gotta burn you. im sorry but its shocking to me that your still breathing. and what do you mean logan?
its not that its not burning me. it is. it’s like im in shock. like I was just hit by an airplane and im in shock for the first hour or so where nothing hurts, i jus know what happened. i know it will hurt sometime soon.
Zaylie if my being pregnant and i is getting in the way im really sorry. ive been meaning to tell you this but if aaron and I arent pregnant, it seems like, it doesn’t set in. we’re not a couple without that little connection between us. i don’t know what happened for us to become this way and I want to know so badly so that we can fix it. )’:
No its not that (; I know what you mean you & aaron have been closer everytime you have something, but if you don’t, it looks like you guys are hanging on to eachother by a thread. its scary really.
you didn’t answer me hun what did logan do?
The car stopped, the GPS telling us we’ve made it. I slowly put myself to my knees, looking out the window. We were at a hotel. A hotel.
I shot Logan a confused expression. “How long have you been planning this? And you still haven’t told me a thing about why we’re going anywhere.”
“Which is why we’re sharing a room.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’re joking.”
He shook his head. “Damon’s in no condition for some sappy shit from you, so it’ll be him, his dad, and Holden. Then Aaron and Josie. You see the point.”
I sighed heavily. “You sleep on the couch.”
“That’s too bad, ‘cause I already claimed the bed.”
Damon was sick to the point he barely even knew me. They dressed him up in sunglasses and looked fine.
As we walked in, I guess the plan was totally fucked, because Aaron put his arm around Josie’s waist, which surprised her, and I felt an arm snake its way through my arm. Josie looked back at me. I tore my eyes away, and noticed her jaw dropping. Shit. Well, that’s fine on rye.
When we got to our rooms on the third floor, I yanked my arm out of his. He just stuck his tounge out at me, shoved me to the sofa, and charged onto the bed, making a mess of the sheets and the pillows. He stretched, took a pillow, and chucked it at me.
“Sleep tight!”
“You suck. You’re telling me everything and anything about this ‘trip’.” I threw the pillow back at him, walking over and sitting on the edge of it. He sat up.
“Fine, pushy.” He stole the pillow I had from my legs. “There’s a vaccine in the plants for Damon’s sickness. We’re going there, killing everyone, taking it, and bombing the place.”
“Truth, please.”
“We’re stealing it and taking off. For crying out loud, I’m not smart enough to make a bomb!” He chucked a pillow at my head.
“How are we doing this?”
“Well. You’re brother’s like, a professional at computers and wires and shit. No cameras. Aaron and I are gonna go in with my dad’s card, steal it, and get out. Viola.”
“I love how you say steal.” I shook my head. “What are me and Josie going to do?”
“I didn’t get there yet, shhh! Well, Zaylie and Josie are going to go and watch over Damon. Mr. Slade is coming with us.”
I sighed. We sat in silence for a while, staring at the floor. I was the one to break this silence.
“How…how did you know I was…thinking those things…earlier?”
Logan took a deep breath. “Because I know how you think. You think that if he ever meets her he’ll love her. Or something.”
“Well…she was pregnant!”
“Yeah and there’s a Damon Jr. somewhere in this world. It doesn’t mean anything. Just because he’s –”
“I’m sorry.” I bit my lip, playing with the string coming down from the hole in my jeans.
He stared at me. “For what?”
“For…a lot of things. I-I liked Terrence…like, a lot –”
“Hey, let’s not…”
“Why?” I met his eyes. “Logan I understood why you did those things. But I didn’t…I didn’t care.” I licked my lips. “I just…I hated how you were acting when you came back. I saw the bruises plain as day but I…I ignored it. I shouldn’t have.”
“Z-”
“And then you left. Again.”
“Because you liked Terrence! Why else?”
“I lied to Aaron and Josie because I was mad at you.”
“And you had every reason to be.”
“I didn’t! I was kissing Terrence behind your back too! I-I didn’t care…”
“Zaylie, just…drop it.”
I sucked in another breath. “I even told them it was your bruises.” I was trying to get him angry, trying to break that annoying shell he had over himself. It wasn’t working, because he just shrugged. He shrugged.
“It’s the past.”
“It’s not! It’s the present, too, Logan! You’re not understanding me. I don’t understand how you could just shrug it all off like it’s nothing.”
“I’m not shrugging it all off like it’s nothing. It burned more than you could understand, what you did. But I burned you, too. So it doesn’t matter. It’s not about evens or odds – it’s about equality. There’s no use in arguing over something that we both knew happened… We were in love, sure. But it ended, didn’t it?”
I never really thought or talked about the whole Logan ordeal. I didn’t want to think or talk about the whole Logan ordeal.
I wasn’t answering him, and I think he soon got the point.
“No, Eich, no.” He roughly grabbed my arm. “Damon is right across the hall. He’s sick. That’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter if he has a child that’s like…sixty. You heard him. Evelyn is dead anyway.”
“There is still his…his child out there! If…if I hadn’t lost his baby he would’ve have two! Two! I feel like a slut for sleeping with a father!”
“I think I like it better when we’re mean to eachother.”
“Logan!”
“I’m sorry, Zaylie! But there’s nothing I can do! I sure as hell didn’t ride his train! I barely know the guy!”
Something about that shot through me. I remembered something. Important, maybe. It hit me like a bat.
“You saw Evelyn.”
He looked guiltier than the Grinch.
“Logan!”
“Zaylie!”
“What did she look like?” He chewed on his tongue, not meeting my eyes. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. “Answer me.”
He let go of my arms. I hadn’t even noticed they’d still been there. We sat in silence for a moment, me staring at him, him staring at his shoes. I didn’t want to know. I wanted to know, needed to know. “Um…brown hair…about your height…brown eyes…cute smile…uh…”
I sat there, tears silently falling from my eyes. I tried not to start sobbing, but it didn’t exactly work when Logan patted my knee.
“Is…sh-sh-she’s still a-alive, isn’t…she?”
I watched him as he slowly nodded. I was shaking. Trying really hard not to just collapse and die.
“I-I-Is…sh-she p…pretty?”
“Zaylie…it’s…” He shook his head. “He loves you.”
We sat on the bed for a while, his hand on my knee awkwardly, my tears making the pillow I was hugging wet, the silence letting all the thoughts go wild. I really hated it when people retched the stitches open from my heart. It hurt. A lot.
Burns the heart.
Nothing’s making sense at all.
I tried to open up my eyes.
I’m hoping for a chance to make it all right.
I took Logan’s hand from my lap, putting it around me. The familiarity hit me like a baseball bat. The smell, the feeling. Logan didn’t have fifty thousand abs lining his torso, but I didn’t care anymore. I leaned into him, taking a deep breath as his arm tightened a little bit.
“I’m sorry about what my dad did to you.”
I nestled into him more. “Where did you go exactly when you left?”
“Up here. Followed him around like a dog. Met Marcie. Was told ‘bout Damon. Was sent to kill him.”
“And we were in the way.”
“You got it.” He took a deep breath. “I…I didn’t mean to do any of that. I didn’t.”
“It’s okay,” I simply replied. “It’s in the past. Like everything else.”
On the way to the car in the morning, I noticed Damon looked about fifty times better. Not completely, but better. And he didn’t look at me. Not once. I really didn’t give two shits, yet it tore through the tissue.
Everyone but Holden and Aaron sat in silence, who were desperately trying to make small-talk about basketball. But it just didn’t work because Damon started hacking his lungs out and we all were brought back to what was going to happen.
We lived in South-Western California, and according to Logan, it was more near Oregon then anything. Oregon was a really boring state. Maybe I’d like it there.
The next hour or so, my phone vibrated. Josie giggled as I slowly pulled it out of my hip pocket.
im more bord than a camel in quicksnd
i know so am i dood they know were texting eachother…
idgaf hahahahahahahaa
wow lol how many more hours?
idk like 3 maybe 4 y am i that boring
my mr. defensive! Lol no i jus need to stretch like really bad
ya well i want new clothes nd i want them now
so do i. that shower didn’t do jackshit.
the shampoo smells like shit
you don’t like the smell of coconut? O: what kind of human are you??
im a alien who likes to eat zaylies for brakfast
yeah well zaylies arent very good without ketchup!!
sickk i want some pie
pie is gross.
Ur gross
your face is gross
ew d is fallin asleep nd i realy hope he dont use teddys
lmao i dont think he does.
u would no
shut up
jus saying
shut up
ur mean to your teddybear
SHUT UP
i like pie
your stoopid.
i may be stoopid but i is hot nd u no it
SHUT UPPPPP!!!!
ur meAn ))))))’:
not my fault you bring up stupid things like that.
u r mean ))))))))))):
marcie shure thinks your hot
ur cold
i know ((:
no really get ur arm off my leg
so marcie doesnt bother you?
not really i liked her now i dont simple
wish it was that simple.
it is u might not even remember him when ur like 98
98 is a long way away.
least i didnt say 69
WOW.
i new ud like that (;
ew.
“Aaron! When are we stopping for a stretch?”
“I don’t know. Next turn or so.”
u see u get 2 stretch we shuld celebrate
you get to stretch too
no i get 2 pay 4 drinks a told me its my turn
his name is aaron not a.
i know his name is a z jus like i know d j h s
you love annoying me lol
hahahahahahahaha lol lyk omg my bff z O: O: O:
omg no fing way lyk omgg my bff L O:
you do it wrong nd L sounds stoopid
well sorry L sounds stupid its not my name
intial not a name
spell initial right and you get a lollipop
dun make fun of me )):
i will if i wanna >:)))
D: mEAN
your twenty two and you cant spell initial right
rawr u ):
im sorry
no ur not D:
look im L i cnt spll write
D: D: D: D: D: bitch
i am attracted to dogs
ur a lesbiann
a lesbian bitch?
yes
ily too :D
???? ew z love how gross
))))=
ily :D
liarrrr
I slid my phone in my pocket, ignoring the vibrating. I stood up, tripped over Josie, was pushed by Logan the Child, yelled at by Aaron, and fell on Holden outside.
I stood to my feet, wiping the rocks off of me. “Sorry. Slipped.” I helped him up.
“Right you did.”
I ignored them all, turning around and looking at everything. My breath caught in my throat. There were three, maybe four or more huge, round, white buildings scattered around us. There were double security doors at the front of all of them. Basically, they looked like huge, plastic, white hot-air balloons.
I whirled around to Logan. “You said parking garage!”
“I can’t help what I say.” He had Damon’s arm over his shoulder. Damon looked sick – again. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn’t look at him anymore and not think Evelyn or Daddy.
“So…where’s the controls and shit?” Holden asked.
“Wait!” Josie yelled. “What are me and Zaylie supposed to do here, exactly? Just stare at eachother?”
“No, you two are going to make sure no one comes around here. And stare at eachother.” Aaron looked at Logan as if to make sure he was right.
I shook my head. “No! I actually want to do something for once.”
“You are doing something!” Holden argued. “We don’t want you ladies to get hurt.”
“Then why bring us?!” Josie yelled.
Mr. Slade cleared his throat. “Just tell them so we can go.”
“Look.” Logan took a deep breath. “They look like they’re easy to get in and out of. They look easy to walk through – but they’re not. They’re so much more inside. Hallways, stairs, about four stories of basements with more hallways and rooms that appear empty. You two would get totally lost, which is why all four of us are going in. Damon is too sick to go anywhere. Josie’s obviously pregnant. And you have to make sure the three of you are alright.” He looked at Josie. “You’re mother is a nurse. You know what to do if he starts seizing or something. Zee would have not a damn clue.” Well, he was right about that. “The virus is still going through his system. I don’t know if we’ll get out in time before it reaches his head.”
“And if it reaches his head…?” Josie said.
“He could be a total loss then.” He took another deep breath. “They injected him with a virus when they took him. Lethal injections and what they put in is not the same. The virus isn’t lethal. It’s just one of their arrogant tests. It’s a trap. We were supposed to come here from the start. There’s just one little detail they don’t know.”
I waited. “And that is?”
“Aaron.” My eyebrows went up. “And Josie, really.” He bit his lip. “The night at the carnival. The knife I had. It had stuff in it. Stuff that was supposed to kill Damon, but instead, because life sucks, it went into them. It’s not lethal to them, but its practically steroids to the max. So Aaron can run fast and is really strong and lively. Josie is the same thing. But pregnant. So she’s not going to do anything.”
“That was like…three years ago though,” I replied.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s in there for a good four or five.”
Josie rubbed her belly, staring wide-eyed into space. Aaron stared at her, a worried expression on his face. “Jo?”
I took a step so I could see her face. She wasn’t just wide-eyed, she was wide-eyed and crying. “What’s wrong, Josie?”
“M…My…it heard you…”
We all just stared at her. Finally, Mr. Slade let go of Damon and hurried over to her.
“Her water just broke.”
Aaron’s eyes went wider than Jupiter. “Wh-Wh…what?”
“My wife said the same thing with Daire.”
I hurried over to Aaron. “It’s okay. I’ve got her! You guys gotta hurry. Tell us everything later. She’ll be okay!”
“Yes…she will.” Mr. Slade let her go slowly, nodding. “She’s not even had her first contraction yet. It’ll be about hours and hours.”
“It’s called a damn hospital!” Aaron yelled.
Logan grabbed his arm. “And we don’t have time!”
I took Aaron’s hand, squeezing it as hard as I could. “Go. Now.”
Logan, with much force, snatched Aaron’s arm and took off through the cornfield that seperated us from the buildings. Holden and Mr. Slade sprinted behind them, leaving it to be just me, Josie and Damon, who was now lying on the floor, moaning.
I guided Josie to the ground beside the moaning platypus. “Are you okay?” I whispered to her.
“Yeah…I am.” She nodded her head multiple times. “I’m alright.”
I crawled over to Damon, gently taking his head in my hands. “Are you alright?”
His eyes slowly moved to mine, but I knew he wasn’t actually looking at me. “Evelyn? Evelyn…I…” Swallow. “I know you’re…pregnant now…” Suddenly, his eyes went from being half closed to wide. I looked behind me.
Marcie stood there, hands on her waist, staring at each of us. I swallowed my fear and stood up.
“Go away.”
She shook her head, sitting down. “You don’t understand, Damon. You never did.” Damon was sitting up straight now, staring at her, cocking his head.
“I understand everything, Marcie. I do.”
“No, you don’t.” She slowly glanced at me. “They screwed me up, Damon. I’m not who I am. I’m not who you know me as.”
It was then that I noticed I could see Josie’s foot through her side. She was a ghost. A fucking ghost.
She turned to me. I could now see Josie’s head through her head. “Zaylie. Run.”
At that, I heard a scream. It was loud, it was shrill, it was terrifying. I couldn’t possibly run, but somehow or another my legs were charging through the cornfield, the leaves brushing and scratching at me.
I ran right through, trying to think as to where the screaming was coming from. It was loud, it was shrill, it was terrifying.
My feet halted to a stop. There were five buildings, each and every one of them looking the same. I waited for a few seconds.
Another scream rang out. It was coming from the third building down. I felt like vomiting, but my legs dragged my weight to the door. There was a crack in it, letting the scream out. I opened it wide, not thinking about security. Because there was none. There was no one there, no one protecting it.
I took a deep breath, stepping in. It was dark. The only light was the one from the doorway. I could see the stairs leading down, down, down.
So that’s where I went. I went down the first, second, third flights of stairs until I reached doors that had the number four written on them.
There was a card laying on top of the slider. I slowly took it in my hands, staring wide-eyed at it. I knew him. I knew him all too well.
Drake James. 46 years of age. Donar: No. Smoke/Drink: No/Yes. Level: Unlimited.
I wanted to die. To pass out. The screams were from them – from Logan, from Aaron, Holden, Mr. Slade…
I slid the card through. The green light flashed at me. I pulled the door open, slamming it shut. I was pissed. I couldn’t help it.
I was soon hiding behind another door, though, because another scream rang out. I bit my lip until the metallic taste filled my mouth. I then breathed in another breath, and opened the door again. Only to be shoved back in.
“Are you sane?!” Logan yelled at me, towering over me like I was three foot. I swallowed, biting my lip. “Zee…what the fuck are you doing?!”
“I…I heard sc-screaming…and Marcie told me…to go…”
“Marcie told you to go?!”
“Marcie the soul, yes! She was…transparent, in a way, but with color and stuff. I don’t know! But she had to be Marcie!”
He fell against the brick wall, sighing deeply. “I…Zaylie…”
“What?”
He shook his head, his eyes not removing from my face. Mine were placed at my feet. “I don’t know if I can protect you down here.”
My eyes snapped up, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. “You don’t have to protect me. I’ll be fine.”
“You totally know I left that card for you. I knew you’d come along sometime.” He was biting his tounge like he usually does. His eyes left my gaze, glancing down. “Your lip’s bleeding.”
I ran my tounge along-side of it. I started to feel my face sting. He pointed one thing out, now they all hurt.
“I’m fine. Like I’ll be fine alone. You gave me the card because you know I’ll take care of myself. Admit it.”
“I’ll admit I let the card there because I knew you’d come. But you saw me. I was standing there waiting for you.”
Another scream made me jump. He casually just stood there. I stared at him.
“You’re used to that, aren’t you?” I whispered. He slowly nodded. “Where’s it coming from?”
“Speakers. They do it so it’ll scare people away.” He rolled his eyes. “You don’t want to know how Scooby-Doo-ified these dicks really are.”
I cocked my head. “Where’s the others?”
“Hopefully together.”
“And they know where they’re going?”
“Mr. Slade is forty-six, but he’s not that old.”
I furrowed my eyes at him. “That’s only like…fifteen year difference between you two.”
“Hey. Shut up. Just because I could be your grandfather doesn’t mean-”
“My grandfather? Logan, you’re twenty-two.”
“And you’re seventeen, little miss seventeen.”
“Seventeen is fun compared to twenty-two I bet.”
“You bet nothing. Twenty-two is amazing. I can drink.”
“Legally.”
“I didn’t ever drink illegally!”
“Sure. You-”
Another scream intterupted us, bringing us back to the real world. Logan grabbed my arm, dragging me to the door. He peeked out, looked both ways, then dragged me down the hall.
“You don’t have to grip me so hard.”
His grip only got tighter.
We walked silently down the hall. I didn’t think his grip could get tighter until I saw a shadow in front of us. I tried to squiggle my arm out, but it wasn’t working.
Logan silently and slowly pulled a door open. He threw me and himself in, silently closing it behind him. He took a deep, shaky breath. If he was taking shaky breaths, that meant I was hypervenilating, because it seemed to me he was never ever scared and he didn’t really care about the world. He just wanted to get everything done. But that’s not what was on his expression. He was as white as a ghost, his eyes wide, his hands shaking. I had no idea what he had just seen or heard or whatever, but I wasn’t about to find out just then because there was a constant banging against the door. I heard yelling, but couldn’t identify what they were saying.
I scrambled to my feet as he took my hand, guiding me toward the other door. He put a hand over my mouth, opened it, shoved me in, and closed. I don’t know why he had his hand over my mouth. I could barely breathe as it was. It wasn’t until my eyes adjusted to the darkness that I saw them.
They were large, big, small. Adults, children, infants. Piled. Some in glass containers filled with water, the other just lying there. Staring at us with closed eyes or open eyes. Dead eyes. Lifeless eyes. I was squirming, trying not to start screaming. Logan pressed me against him, pressing harder against my mouth.
“Don’t scream.” His voice was the shakiest I’d ever heard it. I was already crying. Bawling. Trying to help my knees to keep me standing. But not even that worked because Logan was slowly slipping down the wall. I hadn’t noticed I was squeezing his hand until I fell on them. He pulled them out from under me and squeezed me against him even more.
“G-G-G-G-G-” I couldn’t even speak. I didn’t know I was trying to speak until he shushed me. Not rudely like he would, but gently. Slowly. Quietly. The stench barely exsisted as I just stared at each and every one of their faces, hoping to God they didn’t feel pain. Hoping to God they were in Heaven. There was one that caught my eye, though, and that’s when I started to scream-sob.
It was Terrence. His lips were stitched together, his blue eyes staring wide eyed at me. At me. I was squirming, trying to get out of Logan’s grasp. But I wasn’t sure what I would do when I did. Run over to him? Run out of this place? There was no where to go. I’d get lost. I’d get killed, even. I think my staring straight at him made Logan finally look at them, and he saw him too, because he flipped me over and pressed my face against his chest as I screamed.
To Be Continued
My eyes slowly opened, revealing the bright white lights. I could see them clearly – they all painted nice smiles on their face, telling me it’s okay. No, it wasn’t. I wanted to scream. The pain was too fucking much…too fucking much to handle. It was a deep, empty pain inside of me. Deeper than knives, deeper than the heart, the black ink that slowly seeps through the cages…
I tried to whisper the name, but I couldn’t. It was like I couldn’t talk, couldn’t move. They wore white gas masks, and they scared the living shit out of me because I couldn’t see their faces. The white lights were almost blinding me now.
I felt a sharp pinch, and when I looked at my numb hand, they were injecting me with something from a long-ass needle you would see for a bone marrow transplant. They were injecting it into my wrist, and I wanted to scream, to cry, to run away as fast as I can. A gas masked man was staring down at me. I couldn’t see his face, but yet I felt the same familiarity as if I knew who he was. He slowly took the mask off, revealing his face.
I screamed.
I grabbed the nearest person I could find and hid behind them, shaking.
“Zaylie? What’s wrong? You okay?”
I slowly opened my eyes, looking around me. Damon was turned, facing me, a concerned expression on his face. I slowly stood up, letting go of Damon’s leg, biting my lip. Logan just completely stared at me like I was an idiot. Holden and Aaron raised their eyebrows.
“Um…yeah…fine…”
“Pretty little liar you got there, Dee.” Logan grabbed my arm, gently guiding me back to the bed. “What’d you see, Zee?”
“N-Nothing! I…was just…sleepwalking.”
“Right. Because sleepwalkers really do scream like that.” Holden sat on the bed beside me. I then realized the room was nothing but the guys, and Logan was strangely here too. Huh. “Zaylie, you’re my sister. You don’t sleepwalk.”
“She talks in her sleep though,” Aaron mumbled loud enough for all of us to hear. He turned to Damon. “No news for you, that right?”
Oh mother of hell. Everything was coming back to me. Erik, bruises, sprained wrists, cuts, kissing, making out, sharing blankets, falling asleep, waking up to a group of guys standing around us. Oh shit. All of them know.
A head poked out of the door. “Get dressed, girlie. We’re taking you home. Your parents and Holden are going to Cara’s…I think.”
“Damnit! I forgot all about that!” Holden snatched his jacket from the couch. “Seeya, folks.” And followed Josie out the door.
“Wait…so who’s taking me home?”
“Well, we’re supposed to, but we’re stopping at a basketball game really quick. Just for you, Zaylie,” Aaron replied, smirking.
“No, really,” I said.
“Hollywood.” Damon threw a bag of clothes at me. “Get dressed.”
“No, not Hollywood. Hollywood sucks. We’re taking you to…uh…”
I walked out of the room and to the bathroom before they could gabber any longer.
My bruises looked terrible and it hurt everytime I took a step. But other than that I looked okay. The swelling on my cheek didn’t even bruise – it was just red. I had a bruise on my forehead, though, and that hurt like hell. The one that hurt the most was the bruise on my heart.
Once I came back out, it was only Damon. I stared at the now almost empty room in confusion.
“They got tired of waiting,” He simply stated. He gently put my good hand in his, interlacing them together, grinning. “They simply will not drop it.”
I laughed, shaking my head. I squeezed his hand in mine, let go, and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. “They never will. Trust me.”
Trust me. When we were on the tire swing, about ready to hop off into the lake…Erik had told me to trust him. Trust him that I wouldn’t drown. Trust him…
“Zaylie.” I looked up at him. “He’s not coming back.”
The car ride consisted of a few things. One, I was forced to sit on Damon’s lap, which got us both tons of winks and comments. Two, Logan was driving, which meant I made sure everyone’s seatbelts were buckled. Three, everytime the car bumped, I nearly fell on Aaron’s lap. Four, the car was jammed packed with junk, so there wasn’t anywhere to sit but his lap. Five, I honestly didn’t really give a fork. And six: Damon’s hand kept traveling up my back.
We didn’t go home, of course. Instead we went to the park, where everyone but Aaron and I played basketball. Aaron? No basketball? Well, I couldn’t play, so they took pity and every so often would switch. Joy.
As I watched them yell and scream and shoot hoops, I thought about something. It was something that I’d been meaning to ask Aaron for a while now.
“Aaron…how’re you and Josie getting along? I mean, with the pregnancy and all. Because you’ve not graduated yet and you’re already trying for a baby it seems like, so…”
“We’re…fine, I guess.” He still didn’t look too sure. “I mean…I guess it’s just all this…I don’t know, stress, but…I don’t know. Nevermind.”
“Aaron…”
“I don’t know! It’s…all she wants is yogurt and bread. That’s it. If I even try to hug her, she’s all ‘I feel nauseous. Don’t want to puke on your shoes.’ I mean, I’m her fiance! I don’t really care if she pukes all over my shoes. I’ll still love her!”
I shook my head. “Horomones, Aaron. It’s not you, it’s her. And before you say anything, I’ll have you know I haven’t really talked to Josie all that much. Like, those girl talks we usually have over the phone every single night. So I don’t know any insides to tell you.”
Aaron took a deep breath, then another, as if he was trying to calm down. Josie really does get people reared up sometimes.
It was a little after seven when everyone left that I realized the prom was coming up in two weeks. Two fucking weeks. And that I had school tomorrow. I had to face everyone. Erik was in none of my classes, which was a very good thing, but everyone would probably know.
As I sat in my room, laying down, staring up at the ceiling, I realized something. I had never said those nauseating words to Damon. Ever. Yeah, in that letter to him that he never received, but I never actually told him. And he never actually told me. He always just simply called me “amazing” or “hot” or “gorgeous”. But neither of us actually told eachother how we feel. I usually commented on how is breath smelled, if it smelled like slushies or gum or something. I’ve really wanted to. I have. I practically told him multiple times – when we were yelling in the woods because I couldn’t be with him…I’d told him I loved him more than Erik. Totally true. Still is.
But the thing is…staring at Aaron and Josie spooning up like little kittens…Damon and I could never actually have that. We could physically spoon up like little kittens, but…we could never feel the “always” in there. We could never say “I will be with you always”. We could never feel the security of eachother. I do feel safe and secure when he’s around, but I won’t ever be able to know he’ll be there forever. I could loose him today, I could’ve already lost him, I could just let him slip away…
I felt a vibration on my thigh, which made me tense up from shock. I took a deep breath when it vibrated again. I fished my phone out of my jeans pocket.
“Hello?”
“Zaylie? Uh, this is Damon…I need to talk to you…”
“Are you okay? Your voice sounds off…”
“Yeah…I have a headache, that’s all. Just like…meet me somewhere? Or come over or something.”
I thought for a moment. It was around 9:30 at night. And then I thought of something else. I can so totally drive now.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
And I was there by seven. He was sitting on his black leather couch, staring off into space, his bare feet propped up on the coffee table. I slowly shut the door, locking it. When I turned around, he was still staring, but slowly turned his eyes toward me. Something inside of me shut down when I saw his expression. It wasn’t exactly he was high, but his pupils were huge and he looked worried. Maybe he was just drunk. I don’t know, but he looked sick in some kind of way, and it scared the living shit out of me. I’d never seen him sick, and if he was sick, I didn’t know what to do.
“Damon…?” I whispered, walking over to him. “You look terrible…are you okay?” I sat down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He slowly leaned, or fell, over and rested his head on my lap.
“I’m sick, Zaylie.” He swallowed. “I’m really…sick.”
“You look it. What happened?”
“I…I don’t know…I…my body hurts, Zaylie…” And it was then I heard it. A deep, growling sound. My heart sped up as I stared at him, wide-eyed. When he put his hand on my knee, I saw where he’d been scratching. I swallowed back my bile.
“Damon…maybe…maybe I should call Aaron…or Logan…”
He jolted, groaning with pain. “No...just…” Another jolt made me shoot up. He fell off the couch, landing on the edge of the coffee table so the coffee table flipped to its side. He hurriedly took his shirt off, revealing the sweat beneath it. He was drenched. When he looked over at me, I could see his pupils were now fully dialted – literally, there was no green around his eyes anymore.
I dug my phone out of my pocket, not giving a damn what he said. I texted Aaron, telling him to get his ass over to Damon ASAP.
I slowly met his gaze on me. He was breathing heavily, panting, staring at me with his now black eyes. I was terrified. This was the first time I was terrified of Damon. I wanted to be anywhere but there. I wanted to be at home, in my bed, all curled up and ready to go to sleep.
But no. I was standing there, praying and hoping he didn’t start growing fangs. But no. The fangs came. They were huge – big, white teeth. His bottoms were sprouting up too, and he could feel it, because he howled, literally howled and shot his head back. And that’s also where he vomited. Just took one big gulp of air, another jolt, and he turned over and out it came. I felt like death.
I also felt guilty. He was alone, vomiting and probably experiancing the most painful thing he ever had to face, and there was Zaylie, staring like a little girl at a daddy long leg. He needed someone, maybe, and there was no one else but Zaylie. Damn this life.
I slowly took a step forward, biting my lip. I felt the crack I already still had split, blood leaking into my mouth. Before I could retreat, though, he shot up and soon I was pressed against the wall, the picture of Aaron, Josie, him and me falling down at the force. The bruises on my back screamed at me. He was squeezing my arms, a little too hard at that, but I couldn’t feel it because his eyes were staring deep into mine. And when I say deep I mean it. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him. He just stood there, grasping me, staring down into my eyes until another jolt sent him spiraling to the floor. I blinked, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy, but it quickly passed when the door opened and in came Aaron, wide-eyed as I’d ever seen him.
Damon glanced over at him, but then quickly went back to shaking like a leaf.
“What the hell is going on?” Aaron asked, quickly walking over to me.
“I…I don’t know…he told me to come over, I came, and…he was sick, and he told me he didn’t really know how he got sick…”
“That’s not sick to me! That’s…that’s…I don’t even know what that is!”
“We’ve gotta do something, Aaron…he told me his whole body hurts...”
As I watched Damon, I could see Aaron studying me from the corner of my eye. I slowly looked back at him, and suddenly he was shaking his head.
“You’re loosing your cool, Zee. You need to go home.”
I was totally about to slap him. “Go home? You want me to go home?! What the fuck am I supposed to do there?! Just sit around and hope Damon doesn’t die a slow and painful death? Like fucking hell am I going home!”
“Fine, fine! Calm down! I’ll just call Logan…”
While he punched in numbers and shit, I slowly made my way over to the squirming beast. I slowly sat down beside him, swallowing back my fear. This was Damon. What could he possibly do to me? Tucking my legs under me, I slowly reached down to at least touch him. When I did, he whimpered, whimpered, and slowly looked up at me. I gave a little smile, trying to find some sort of relief he was still in there. His eyes gazed up at me, and with that, rolled over and vomited. I felt like utter death.
Soon I was stood, standing behind Aaron, staring at him. He turned around to look at me. “Logan said to stay away from him. He’ll be over in a couple minutes.”
“What is happening?!” I yelled. “He’s lying there, fangs coming out, his eyes black, vomiting, sweating, having weird jolts…”
“He said he’d explain everything when he gets here.”
And in came Logan, slamming the door shut. Without a word, he grabbed our elbows and shoved us in the bedroom, closing the door behind him and locking it.
“What the hell!?” I yelled.
“You guys are safe in here. It won’t happen this time.” He turned around, facing us. He locked his eyes with mine. “Your boyfriend out there didn’t get any form of lethal injection, sweet cakes.” I apparently just stared at him, wide-eyed. “It’s a thing called ‘metamorphosis’. You’ve both heard it before. He’s going through a stage right now.” He took a deep breath. I recognized that expression – Logan was kind of scared. More anxious then anything. “He’ll be himself in a few hours at the most. When did he start?”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t blink. I couldn’t close my hanging jaw. All I could do is think, and the thoughts weren’t so nice. Hell, I didn’t like the thoughts at all.
“Zaylie!”
I slowly sat down, swallowing back even more bile. “I…he called me…nine thirty. He…he was already sick when…I-I got here…”
“That’s the thing, Zee. He’s not sick at all. It’s not something you can give him soup and he’ll be all better in a few days. This lasts for a very long time.”
“Hold your fucking horses.” We stared at Aaron. “Metamorphosis. What the hell exactly is he changing into?”
He shrugged. Shrugged. Shrugged. “I don’t know yet. We might not until he fully changes.” Changes. Changes. Changes.
“And when will this be?”
“A few times…?” Times. Times. Times.
“I want to see him.” I didn’t know it was my voice until Logan replied.
“If you want to kill yourself, go right ahead. He doesn’t know what’s happening, he’s afraid…whatever is happening, it has at least a tint of control over him.” Tint. Tint. Tint.
“What is there to talk about!? From the way you were acting, all you really needed was just a tint more than a hug.”
“A tint? A tint?! You were like…all over me!”
“…he get this way?”
“I…they might’ve put him in with it? It might explain the scars.”
I didn’t here anything else except the low “Zaylie…” coming from outside the door. I shot up and my hands were clenched on the lock, but a big hand held the lock.
“You really shouldn’t, Zaylie.”
“Fuck you.” I slapped his hand away and swung the door open. I charged out, went around the couch, and was collapsed on by a Damon. I fell on the couch, where he just slumped on me. I really didn’t care, because when he slowly opened his eyes, they were green. And I saw no fangs and he wasn’t jolting.
“You okay, Damon?” I whispered, brushing the hair out of his face. He opened his eyes again, keeping them open and staring up at me.
“No,” He whispered back. “I need toothpaste and a shower and a hug and a slushie.”
So, we had to skip the slushie part, but after he took a ten minute shower and brushed his teeth five and got hugged around seven, he came back out and sat down with us.
“So…what was that?” He asked, putting his feet up on the now upright coffee table. Oh, and, his neat-freakiness was still with him. He mopped the vomit up several times just to make sure.
“Do you remember anything about your time up in the North?” Logan questioned. Damon slowly shook his head. “Not a thing?”
“Well…I remember the gas masks. That’s about all though.”
Gas masks. It hit me like a truck, but I couldn’t remember where I’d heard it.
“You’re going through ‘metamorphosis’. You’re body is slowly changing into something, but it’s doing so in stages. I don’t know how many or what you’ll be changing into, but I do know you need to be alone. Whatever it is will slowly start to control you more and more during the stages.”
We all stared at Damon. He looked like he already knew all of this. But his expression turned to a tint of worry. Tint. Tint. Tint.
“So…no one knows…like…what I’ll become and when?”
“If it’s second to last stage then maybe we’ll know what and when. Do you think they injected you or do you think they put you with it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m tired. I feel like shit. My pillow is calling to me. I think I’ll be fine for the next twelve hours or so, right?”
Logan rolled his eyes. “Fine, sleep.”
Aaron was the first to stand. “I think that sounds better than pie.” He looked at me. “You need a ride?”
I shook my head. “No. I took the van.”
“Okay. Well then. Goodnight, folks.” He took a deep breath as if picturing everything he saw tonight, then continued to the door and walked out, not bothering to shut it behind him.
Then Logan left, yawning more than ever.
But, of course, when I went to leave, the door was slammed shut before my eyes and I was turned around and staring up into those amazing green eyes. And then I noticed he had no shirt on, which made me really want to stare at those abs.
Be a good girl, Zaylie. Be a good girl.
With that, I kissed him a quick goodbye, and his hand removed from the door so I could step out.
I don’t think I could’ve been more bored.
I had my yellow dress. I was all set and ready to go with new earrings, new heels (well, my first pair of heels. I could see it then – I’d have blisters lining my feet for the next year), a bracelet to match my dress, some nail polish, mascara, and a mini purse. But no. Josie and Cara were going full out – staring at dresses for an hour, trying them on for two or three; looking at tiaras; staring at wallets, staring at nail polish, buying about three-thousand plus new designer jeans that didn’t even relate to the prom at all.
So, as they were moaning about Josie’s belly bump, I decided I wanted a slushie. As I slowly walked toward the counter labeled Slushies – $3.00 , I felt a hand on my arm. The new scar on my lip quivered as I cringed.
I slowly turned around, staring up at him. He had brown, greying hair. His eyes were a deep, dark green – amazing green eyes. I could stare into them for hours. His jaw was set tightly, and his grip on my arm lightened.
He wasn’t talking to me, just staring at me. I couldn’t help but stare at him back – he looked like he needed a nap or two. And he looked familiar. Very familiar. I don’t know if it’s because my jaw dropped or not, but he let go and started pacing off before I could say a word.
I wanted to chase after him. I wanted to demand to know who he was, where he came from. But another hand was on my other arm, swinging me around to face her.
“Who was that?”
I shrugged, staring at Josie, biting my lip.
“Well…he grabbed you like you two were pals or something.”
Again, I shrugged. I took a deep breath, clearing my throat. “Nothing. He thought I was someone else.”
Cara’s eyes were staring at me, studying me. And I knew she knew it was way more than that, because my knees felt like jell-o. I felt like jell-o.
After we bought Josie’s neon green dress, we made our way out to Cara’s car. I’d just gotten my stuff into the trunk when I got a text from Logan.
where r u??!!
I rolled my eyes. Always so fucking pushy.
Having a life!!! Why??
u need 2 get 2 aarons bring josie n holden
Why?? Tell me!
d now get ur asses here
I took a breath, turning my phone off. Whatever it was it sounded urgent. But what wasn’t urgent anymore?
As we got to my house, I thanked Cara for taking us and dragged Josie and our stuff into the house. I showed Josie the messages, grabbed Holden, and made him drive to Aaron’s, who lived a few blocks away. But we didn’t have time to walk.
Once there, we stopped short. There was a car – a black van with black windows. It was never there before. I squeezed my already tight fists.
We stumbled into the house, stopping short again. There was the man from the slushie stand – green eyes and everything. He was standing next to the panting and heaving and black-eyed Damon. Not black-eyed, like bruises. The green was captured by the pupils it seemed like.
“Aaron…” Josie started.
“What the hell is this?” Holden demanded. We all turned to him, staring at him. He had no idea of anything. All he knew was Damon was good at basketball.
“We don’t have time to explain,” Logan replied. He looked different – a bit more tired-looking than he usually looked. He wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes.
“Who is he?” I demanded, pointing the Mr. Green-eyes.
“The one and only Mr. Slade,” Logan answered quickly, looping one of Damon’s arms around his shoulders.
Whoa. Hold those horses. They wanted me to just…
“Let’s go, Zaylie!” Aaron yelled, snatching my arm.
“Where are we going?” I yelled back. “No one is telling me anything that makes sense!”
No one answered me, either. I was smuggled into the black van. ‘Mr. Slade’, Damon, and Logan squeezed in the back, I sat on the floor with Josie, and Aaron and Holden were up front, Aaron driving.
I whirled around, staring up at Logan who sat on a seat behind me. “What in fuck’s name is going on?! What is wrong with him?”
The GPS told Aaron to get on the Northern Highway. That answered one question.
“Logan!” Josie snapped, becoming as impaitent as I was.
“Alright! Well, the metamorphosis thing was a fairytale my dad used to tell me when I was like, eight. I used to think it was real until he told me it wasn’t – it was a failed test. I told you that in case I was wrong.” Thanks for the lie. “I wasn’t there to get all sappy with you, Zaylie. At the carnival. I was supposed to kill Damon, but you and those two were in the way. And so I had to at least do something for my dad.” So you nearly killed them. “As for the whole Marcie and me thing… I know she’s one of them. She’s tried to kill me twice now. I’ve known since I first saw her at the plant – she was a really wild one who made me fall for her. I did. It was shit and I should’ve just let it all go, but I didn’t.”
I waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, I said, “Okay…well…who’s he exactly?”
“Damon’s father. I’m not even kidding.”
“But Damon had blue eyes…”
“Yes, he did.” We all turned to stare wide-eyed at Daddy Slade. “I did too. I used to be with them – back in the 1940’s. I used to test people. But when they had me test Damon, I couldn’t do it. He was my son. I refused, so they took me and a few others to a pit. There, they had us stand along-side the pit. They shot every one of us like Jews. They weren’t Nazis. They didn’t follow Hitler. They didn’t follow anybody but the government. I’m not talking about the White House. Roosevelt had nothing to do with this, and I doubt he had any knowledge of this. It was this separate group that I used to be part of. They called themselves The Order. Yes, they’re the ones who started the ‘New World Order’ conspiracy. We- ”
“Wait, hold on, shut up.” We turned our wide eyes to Holden, who was turned around and staring at us all. “With who? What the fuck is wrong with Damon? Why am I the only clueless one here?!”
Aaron tapped Holden’s arm. “I’ll tell you. Let him tell them.”
We turned back to him as he continued. “We’re creating the army so they will kill the non-believers. I dropped out, though, and got made into one of them. But, just like Damon, I have feelings. And those feelings are because his mother and my wife is still alive.”
My jaw dropped to the floor, the bones scattering across the carpet.
“Sh-Sh-She must be like…eighty…late seventies, early nineties?”
“Yes. Seventy-nine. But she’s still alive, unlike Daire or Demetri.” The Slade Brothers. “Since you know he has emotions because he has something to hold on to…it’s not you. I’m very sorry, Zaylie, but it is Evelyn.”
My jaw was crushed as a fist bought another set of bruises to my heart.
“Evelyn is not alive. She died a bit ago. But-”
“But so did…Mrs. Slade. And Demetri…and Daire…in the house…”
He shook his head. “Set up. We all did great at that. We just didn’t do so well at running away.” He took a deep breath. “Daire and Demetri were caught and taken by them, leaving us with Evelyn, Damon, Mrs. Slade and I. We made the mistake of splitting up. Evelyn and Damon went south, Mrs. Slade and I went north. Mrs. Slade and I got split up, so I went back down south. I couldn’t have searched for her – I figured they got her.
“I met Damon and Evelyn a few months later in Los Angelous.” He shot me a glance. My heart etched up my throat. “They were distant. Like they weren’t there. It took me a couple weeks to get it out of her, but it turned out Evelyn was pregnant. She forced me not to tell him, so I didn’t. He had already lost his brothers and his mother, like I had lost my sons and my wife.
“It was a few weeks after we left LA that they found us. I don’t know what happened to Evelyn and how she came to live, but I know Damon was only a few miles away from the camp I was in. It wasn’t a Jap camp, it was practically a Concentration camp. They had gas chambers, tests, doctors.” He swallowed. “They left me alone, since I was a cop and could help them out. I was an unarmed guard until they told me they’re plans. A few weeks later, Damon had been acting up in his camp and moved to ours.” Another swallow. “His condition was serious. He had whip markings, he had two holes on his forehead, he was a mess. He would scream for hours on end in his cell. He would be put to sleep for days. The two holes on his head only got worst, for it was a punishment. You were disobeying, they put a metal rod on your head and pushed it in so it brushed against your skull. They put another one if you still don’t obey. If you’re still disobeying them, they’ll put two cords on both temples, press a button, and give you a wild electric shock.”
He glanced at Logan. “I saw Marcie Anderson there. She was being chained up to go into the gas chamber, but there was something different from her. Her boyfriend, Frank, was standing next to her. That’s when it happened. She grabbed his chains and wrapped them up around his neck, squeezing tightly. Marcie was a sweet girl. She wouldn’t have ever done anything like that. They shot her instantly. She chose the wrong side, though. They killed her, turned her, and now she’s one of them.”
There was nothing but silence. I stared up from the floor to Josie, who sat there, rubbing her enlarged stomach. Damon was sitting there, pale and sweaty, looking like he could pass out any second. Logan. He was sitting there, staring into space, his face expressionless. He loved her. I knew I could never make him admit it, but he did love her. Just like Damon loved Evelyn. I swallowed the heart in my throat as the next thought erupted my brain. The pain in my chest was too much to describe.
Everything about any guy that I’ve fell for always ended horribly. Logan, for one. We were happy until his dad fucked his mind up. I let him in – physically, emotionally – and he’d screwed it all up. I had helped with that. I knew he wasn’t okay, and I let him be like that. He went and slept with other girls because I wouldn’t let him in anymore. No, I was eyeing Terrence out. I had no feelings left for Logan, and I shut him out while he needed me the most. His dad wasn’t ever Dad of the Year. I could see the bruises on Logan but I didn’t care. And when I found out he’d been with two other girls, I told Aaron he’d used me for sex. He hadn’t. And he lost Aaron’s friendship.
And now Damon. I’d been sleeping with a Dad. No one actually said he was a dad, but he might as well be. Where else would the baby go? I wasn’t the only one who had a Damon Jr. in their tummy. Mine was lost. Maybe the other one wasn’t. Maybe they’re like, sixty right now, with grand-children. Damon has great-grandchildren. I felt sicker as we reached a gas station about an hour later.
After having a battle with Aaron about who was going to pay for drinks, I gave up and let him win. I chugged my water down, then walked over and stood next to Holden, who was staring wide-eyed into space.
“How’re you holding up?” I asked, nudging him.
He swallowed, shaking his head. “I…I don’t know. I mean…I…”
“It’s confusing, I know. You get used to the confusing-ness after a while.” I watered the grass a little. “Trust me, I know.”
“How…how long have you known about all this shit?”
I thought for a moment. “I don’t know…three years ago September? It was a while after I first met Damon and first started at the library.”
He shook his head, biting his lip. “This is…shit, Zaylie. It has to be.”
“It’s not. There’s proof, trust me.”
He looked over at me. “What kind of proof?”
“There’s scars on his back.”
Holden stared at me. “Right.” He stared at me some more. “Did you screw him?”
A flash went through me, and my eyes shot to his. He could see through me like fucking glass.
“Shit, Zaylie! He’s like…twenty-fucking-one and you’re like…what…sixteen!?”
“Seventeen! And…I’m well aware of the age difference. It’s just…well…”
“Was it a goodbye present or something?!”
“No! Well…kind of…”
“Oh my fucking…” He shook his head, collapsing against the wall. “First, I find out that he’s barely even alive. Then I find out he used to swing dance for fun. Now I find out my sister has had hot dirty sex with a ghost. Wow…this is just…”
A ghost. I’d never thought of him that way. Well, because he isn’t. But in a way he is. Because he died, and he came back…whatever.
“How many times? You know, don’t even answer that question.”
I turned to face him. “How many times did you screw Josie?” Ice.
His jaw dropped, his eyes going beyond me. Oh shit on fucking toast. I slowly turned to face the one and only Logan, who, in any relief, had a smile on his face. Good or bad sign, I wasn’t sure which.
“Wait…hold on…”
“I…I didn’t! I swear!” Holdon protested.
Logan waved a hand toward him, his eyes going back to me. “I have a feeling you don’t want to know how long I was standing there with my ears open to the world.”
I gulped in air. “Well...I…”
He studied me for a second, and I totally forgot Holdon had once taught him how to read me like glass too.
“She’s like…sixty something with wrinkles and liver spots, Zee. Not attractive.”
I bit my lip, hiding my eyes from him by looking at his converse. “I wasn’t…I don’t…”
“Hurry your asses up!” Aaron yelled from the car. Josie slowly came out of the store, saw us, and stopped short.
“What’s…?”
“Nothing.” Logan strolled around me, pacing toward the car. I swallowed. Holden followed.
Josie walked over to me, taking my arm. “What’d he say? What’s wrong?”
“It’s…nothing.”
“Zaylie. Come on.”
“It’s everything, Jo! I mean…I feel…like everything inside is too full that I can’t bottle it up anymore. I-I mean…guys in general! And then there’s Marcie, and then there’s Damon Jr. somewhere out there… Mr. Slade is awaiting in the car with the sick Damon…and you’re standing there with a stomach as large as Pluto! Then...then there’s Erik, and Logan, and…”
“Chill, Zee, okay? You’re okay. Everything will get settled, alright? I promise. Text me in the car. Aaron’s giving us his look so we better get going.” I nodded slowly. “I promise, Zee. I really do.”
Once in the car, in the same seating order, I pulled out my Blackberry and started off.
i don’t know jo...its jus everything is so everywhere ya know?
yeah I do actually. damon as a dad? Zaylie that’s gotta burn you. im sorry but its shocking to me that your still breathing. and what do you mean logan?
its not that its not burning me. it is. it’s like im in shock. like I was just hit by an airplane and im in shock for the first hour or so where nothing hurts, i jus know what happened. i know it will hurt sometime soon.
Zaylie if my being pregnant and i is getting in the way im really sorry. ive been meaning to tell you this but if aaron and I arent pregnant, it seems like, it doesn’t set in. we’re not a couple without that little connection between us. i don’t know what happened for us to become this way and I want to know so badly so that we can fix it. )’:
No its not that (; I know what you mean you & aaron have been closer everytime you have something, but if you don’t, it looks like you guys are hanging on to eachother by a thread. its scary really.
you didn’t answer me hun what did logan do?
The car stopped, the GPS telling us we’ve made it. I slowly put myself to my knees, looking out the window. We were at a hotel. A hotel.
I shot Logan a confused expression. “How long have you been planning this? And you still haven’t told me a thing about why we’re going anywhere.”
“Which is why we’re sharing a room.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’re joking.”
He shook his head. “Damon’s in no condition for some sappy shit from you, so it’ll be him, his dad, and Holden. Then Aaron and Josie. You see the point.”
I sighed heavily. “You sleep on the couch.”
“That’s too bad, ‘cause I already claimed the bed.”
Damon was sick to the point he barely even knew me. They dressed him up in sunglasses and looked fine.
As we walked in, I guess the plan was totally fucked, because Aaron put his arm around Josie’s waist, which surprised her, and I felt an arm snake its way through my arm. Josie looked back at me. I tore my eyes away, and noticed her jaw dropping. Shit. Well, that’s fine on rye.
When we got to our rooms on the third floor, I yanked my arm out of his. He just stuck his tounge out at me, shoved me to the sofa, and charged onto the bed, making a mess of the sheets and the pillows. He stretched, took a pillow, and chucked it at me.
“Sleep tight!”
“You suck. You’re telling me everything and anything about this ‘trip’.” I threw the pillow back at him, walking over and sitting on the edge of it. He sat up.
“Fine, pushy.” He stole the pillow I had from my legs. “There’s a vaccine in the plants for Damon’s sickness. We’re going there, killing everyone, taking it, and bombing the place.”
“Truth, please.”
“We’re stealing it and taking off. For crying out loud, I’m not smart enough to make a bomb!” He chucked a pillow at my head.
“How are we doing this?”
“Well. You’re brother’s like, a professional at computers and wires and shit. No cameras. Aaron and I are gonna go in with my dad’s card, steal it, and get out. Viola.”
“I love how you say steal.” I shook my head. “What are me and Josie going to do?”
“I didn’t get there yet, shhh! Well, Zaylie and Josie are going to go and watch over Damon. Mr. Slade is coming with us.”
I sighed. We sat in silence for a while, staring at the floor. I was the one to break this silence.
“How…how did you know I was…thinking those things…earlier?”
Logan took a deep breath. “Because I know how you think. You think that if he ever meets her he’ll love her. Or something.”
“Well…she was pregnant!”
“Yeah and there’s a Damon Jr. somewhere in this world. It doesn’t mean anything. Just because he’s –”
“I’m sorry.” I bit my lip, playing with the string coming down from the hole in my jeans.
He stared at me. “For what?”
“For…a lot of things. I-I liked Terrence…like, a lot –”
“Hey, let’s not…”
“Why?” I met his eyes. “Logan I understood why you did those things. But I didn’t…I didn’t care.” I licked my lips. “I just…I hated how you were acting when you came back. I saw the bruises plain as day but I…I ignored it. I shouldn’t have.”
“Z-”
“And then you left. Again.”
“Because you liked Terrence! Why else?”
“I lied to Aaron and Josie because I was mad at you.”
“And you had every reason to be.”
“I didn’t! I was kissing Terrence behind your back too! I-I didn’t care…”
“Zaylie, just…drop it.”
I sucked in another breath. “I even told them it was your bruises.” I was trying to get him angry, trying to break that annoying shell he had over himself. It wasn’t working, because he just shrugged. He shrugged.
“It’s the past.”
“It’s not! It’s the present, too, Logan! You’re not understanding me. I don’t understand how you could just shrug it all off like it’s nothing.”
“I’m not shrugging it all off like it’s nothing. It burned more than you could understand, what you did. But I burned you, too. So it doesn’t matter. It’s not about evens or odds – it’s about equality. There’s no use in arguing over something that we both knew happened… We were in love, sure. But it ended, didn’t it?”
I never really thought or talked about the whole Logan ordeal. I didn’t want to think or talk about the whole Logan ordeal.
I wasn’t answering him, and I think he soon got the point.
“No, Eich, no.” He roughly grabbed my arm. “Damon is right across the hall. He’s sick. That’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter if he has a child that’s like…sixty. You heard him. Evelyn is dead anyway.”
“There is still his…his child out there! If…if I hadn’t lost his baby he would’ve have two! Two! I feel like a slut for sleeping with a father!”
“I think I like it better when we’re mean to eachother.”
“Logan!”
“I’m sorry, Zaylie! But there’s nothing I can do! I sure as hell didn’t ride his train! I barely know the guy!”
Something about that shot through me. I remembered something. Important, maybe. It hit me like a bat.
“You saw Evelyn.”
He looked guiltier than the Grinch.
“Logan!”
“Zaylie!”
“What did she look like?” He chewed on his tongue, not meeting my eyes. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. “Answer me.”
He let go of my arms. I hadn’t even noticed they’d still been there. We sat in silence for a moment, me staring at him, him staring at his shoes. I didn’t want to know. I wanted to know, needed to know. “Um…brown hair…about your height…brown eyes…cute smile…uh…”
I sat there, tears silently falling from my eyes. I tried not to start sobbing, but it didn’t exactly work when Logan patted my knee.
“Is…sh-sh-she’s still a-alive, isn’t…she?”
I watched him as he slowly nodded. I was shaking. Trying really hard not to just collapse and die.
“I-I-Is…sh-she p…pretty?”
“Zaylie…it’s…” He shook his head. “He loves you.”
We sat on the bed for a while, his hand on my knee awkwardly, my tears making the pillow I was hugging wet, the silence letting all the thoughts go wild. I really hated it when people retched the stitches open from my heart. It hurt. A lot.
Burns the heart.
Nothing’s making sense at all.
I tried to open up my eyes.
I’m hoping for a chance to make it all right.
I took Logan’s hand from my lap, putting it around me. The familiarity hit me like a baseball bat. The smell, the feeling. Logan didn’t have fifty thousand abs lining his torso, but I didn’t care anymore. I leaned into him, taking a deep breath as his arm tightened a little bit.
“I’m sorry about what my dad did to you.”
I nestled into him more. “Where did you go exactly when you left?”
“Up here. Followed him around like a dog. Met Marcie. Was told ‘bout Damon. Was sent to kill him.”
“And we were in the way.”
“You got it.” He took a deep breath. “I…I didn’t mean to do any of that. I didn’t.”
“It’s okay,” I simply replied. “It’s in the past. Like everything else.”
On the way to the car in the morning, I noticed Damon looked about fifty times better. Not completely, but better. And he didn’t look at me. Not once. I really didn’t give two shits, yet it tore through the tissue.
Everyone but Holden and Aaron sat in silence, who were desperately trying to make small-talk about basketball. But it just didn’t work because Damon started hacking his lungs out and we all were brought back to what was going to happen.
We lived in South-Western California, and according to Logan, it was more near Oregon then anything. Oregon was a really boring state. Maybe I’d like it there.
The next hour or so, my phone vibrated. Josie giggled as I slowly pulled it out of my hip pocket.
im more bord than a camel in quicksnd
i know so am i dood they know were texting eachother…
idgaf hahahahahahahaa
wow lol how many more hours?
idk like 3 maybe 4 y am i that boring
my mr. defensive! Lol no i jus need to stretch like really bad
ya well i want new clothes nd i want them now
so do i. that shower didn’t do jackshit.
the shampoo smells like shit
you don’t like the smell of coconut? O: what kind of human are you??
im a alien who likes to eat zaylies for brakfast
yeah well zaylies arent very good without ketchup!!
sickk i want some pie
pie is gross.
Ur gross
your face is gross
ew d is fallin asleep nd i realy hope he dont use teddys
lmao i dont think he does.
u would no
shut up
jus saying
shut up
ur mean to your teddybear
SHUT UP
i like pie
your stoopid.
i may be stoopid but i is hot nd u no it
SHUT UPPPPP!!!!
ur meAn ))))))’:
not my fault you bring up stupid things like that.
u r mean ))))))))))):
marcie shure thinks your hot
ur cold
i know ((:
no really get ur arm off my leg
so marcie doesnt bother you?
not really i liked her now i dont simple
wish it was that simple.
it is u might not even remember him when ur like 98
98 is a long way away.
least i didnt say 69
WOW.
i new ud like that (;
ew.
“Aaron! When are we stopping for a stretch?”
“I don’t know. Next turn or so.”
u see u get 2 stretch we shuld celebrate
you get to stretch too
no i get 2 pay 4 drinks a told me its my turn
his name is aaron not a.
i know his name is a z jus like i know d j h s
you love annoying me lol
hahahahahahahaha lol lyk omg my bff z O: O: O:
omg no fing way lyk omgg my bff L O:
you do it wrong nd L sounds stoopid
well sorry L sounds stupid its not my name
intial not a name
spell initial right and you get a lollipop
dun make fun of me )):
i will if i wanna >:)))
D: mEAN
your twenty two and you cant spell initial right
rawr u ):
im sorry
no ur not D:
look im L i cnt spll write
D: D: D: D: D: bitch
i am attracted to dogs
ur a lesbiann
a lesbian bitch?
yes
ily too :D
???? ew z love how gross
))))=
ily :D
liarrrr
I slid my phone in my pocket, ignoring the vibrating. I stood up, tripped over Josie, was pushed by Logan the Child, yelled at by Aaron, and fell on Holden outside.
I stood to my feet, wiping the rocks off of me. “Sorry. Slipped.” I helped him up.
“Right you did.”
I ignored them all, turning around and looking at everything. My breath caught in my throat. There were three, maybe four or more huge, round, white buildings scattered around us. There were double security doors at the front of all of them. Basically, they looked like huge, plastic, white hot-air balloons.
I whirled around to Logan. “You said parking garage!”
“I can’t help what I say.” He had Damon’s arm over his shoulder. Damon looked sick – again. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn’t look at him anymore and not think Evelyn or Daddy.
“So…where’s the controls and shit?” Holden asked.
“Wait!” Josie yelled. “What are me and Zaylie supposed to do here, exactly? Just stare at eachother?”
“No, you two are going to make sure no one comes around here. And stare at eachother.” Aaron looked at Logan as if to make sure he was right.
I shook my head. “No! I actually want to do something for once.”
“You are doing something!” Holden argued. “We don’t want you ladies to get hurt.”
“Then why bring us?!” Josie yelled.
Mr. Slade cleared his throat. “Just tell them so we can go.”
“Look.” Logan took a deep breath. “They look like they’re easy to get in and out of. They look easy to walk through – but they’re not. They’re so much more inside. Hallways, stairs, about four stories of basements with more hallways and rooms that appear empty. You two would get totally lost, which is why all four of us are going in. Damon is too sick to go anywhere. Josie’s obviously pregnant. And you have to make sure the three of you are alright.” He looked at Josie. “You’re mother is a nurse. You know what to do if he starts seizing or something. Zee would have not a damn clue.” Well, he was right about that. “The virus is still going through his system. I don’t know if we’ll get out in time before it reaches his head.”
“And if it reaches his head…?” Josie said.
“He could be a total loss then.” He took another deep breath. “They injected him with a virus when they took him. Lethal injections and what they put in is not the same. The virus isn’t lethal. It’s just one of their arrogant tests. It’s a trap. We were supposed to come here from the start. There’s just one little detail they don’t know.”
I waited. “And that is?”
“Aaron.” My eyebrows went up. “And Josie, really.” He bit his lip. “The night at the carnival. The knife I had. It had stuff in it. Stuff that was supposed to kill Damon, but instead, because life sucks, it went into them. It’s not lethal to them, but its practically steroids to the max. So Aaron can run fast and is really strong and lively. Josie is the same thing. But pregnant. So she’s not going to do anything.”
“That was like…three years ago though,” I replied.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s in there for a good four or five.”
Josie rubbed her belly, staring wide-eyed into space. Aaron stared at her, a worried expression on his face. “Jo?”
I took a step so I could see her face. She wasn’t just wide-eyed, she was wide-eyed and crying. “What’s wrong, Josie?”
“M…My…it heard you…”
We all just stared at her. Finally, Mr. Slade let go of Damon and hurried over to her.
“Her water just broke.”
Aaron’s eyes went wider than Jupiter. “Wh-Wh…what?”
“My wife said the same thing with Daire.”
I hurried over to Aaron. “It’s okay. I’ve got her! You guys gotta hurry. Tell us everything later. She’ll be okay!”
“Yes…she will.” Mr. Slade let her go slowly, nodding. “She’s not even had her first contraction yet. It’ll be about hours and hours.”
“It’s called a damn hospital!” Aaron yelled.
Logan grabbed his arm. “And we don’t have time!”
I took Aaron’s hand, squeezing it as hard as I could. “Go. Now.”
Logan, with much force, snatched Aaron’s arm and took off through the cornfield that seperated us from the buildings. Holden and Mr. Slade sprinted behind them, leaving it to be just me, Josie and Damon, who was now lying on the floor, moaning.
I guided Josie to the ground beside the moaning platypus. “Are you okay?” I whispered to her.
“Yeah…I am.” She nodded her head multiple times. “I’m alright.”
I crawled over to Damon, gently taking his head in my hands. “Are you alright?”
His eyes slowly moved to mine, but I knew he wasn’t actually looking at me. “Evelyn? Evelyn…I…” Swallow. “I know you’re…pregnant now…” Suddenly, his eyes went from being half closed to wide. I looked behind me.
Marcie stood there, hands on her waist, staring at each of us. I swallowed my fear and stood up.
“Go away.”
She shook her head, sitting down. “You don’t understand, Damon. You never did.” Damon was sitting up straight now, staring at her, cocking his head.
“I understand everything, Marcie. I do.”
“No, you don’t.” She slowly glanced at me. “They screwed me up, Damon. I’m not who I am. I’m not who you know me as.”
It was then that I noticed I could see Josie’s foot through her side. She was a ghost. A fucking ghost.
She turned to me. I could now see Josie’s head through her head. “Zaylie. Run.”
At that, I heard a scream. It was loud, it was shrill, it was terrifying. I couldn’t possibly run, but somehow or another my legs were charging through the cornfield, the leaves brushing and scratching at me.
I ran right through, trying to think as to where the screaming was coming from. It was loud, it was shrill, it was terrifying.
My feet halted to a stop. There were five buildings, each and every one of them looking the same. I waited for a few seconds.
Another scream rang out. It was coming from the third building down. I felt like vomiting, but my legs dragged my weight to the door. There was a crack in it, letting the scream out. I opened it wide, not thinking about security. Because there was none. There was no one there, no one protecting it.
I took a deep breath, stepping in. It was dark. The only light was the one from the doorway. I could see the stairs leading down, down, down.
So that’s where I went. I went down the first, second, third flights of stairs until I reached doors that had the number four written on them.
There was a card laying on top of the slider. I slowly took it in my hands, staring wide-eyed at it. I knew him. I knew him all too well.
Drake James. 46 years of age. Donar: No. Smoke/Drink: No/Yes. Level: Unlimited.
I wanted to die. To pass out. The screams were from them – from Logan, from Aaron, Holden, Mr. Slade…
I slid the card through. The green light flashed at me. I pulled the door open, slamming it shut. I was pissed. I couldn’t help it.
I was soon hiding behind another door, though, because another scream rang out. I bit my lip until the metallic taste filled my mouth. I then breathed in another breath, and opened the door again. Only to be shoved back in.
“Are you sane?!” Logan yelled at me, towering over me like I was three foot. I swallowed, biting my lip. “Zee…what the fuck are you doing?!”
“I…I heard sc-screaming…and Marcie told me…to go…”
“Marcie told you to go?!”
“Marcie the soul, yes! She was…transparent, in a way, but with color and stuff. I don’t know! But she had to be Marcie!”
He fell against the brick wall, sighing deeply. “I…Zaylie…”
“What?”
He shook his head, his eyes not removing from my face. Mine were placed at my feet. “I don’t know if I can protect you down here.”
My eyes snapped up, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. “You don’t have to protect me. I’ll be fine.”
“You totally know I left that card for you. I knew you’d come along sometime.” He was biting his tounge like he usually does. His eyes left my gaze, glancing down. “Your lip’s bleeding.”
I ran my tounge along-side of it. I started to feel my face sting. He pointed one thing out, now they all hurt.
“I’m fine. Like I’ll be fine alone. You gave me the card because you know I’ll take care of myself. Admit it.”
“I’ll admit I let the card there because I knew you’d come. But you saw me. I was standing there waiting for you.”
Another scream made me jump. He casually just stood there. I stared at him.
“You’re used to that, aren’t you?” I whispered. He slowly nodded. “Where’s it coming from?”
“Speakers. They do it so it’ll scare people away.” He rolled his eyes. “You don’t want to know how Scooby-Doo-ified these dicks really are.”
I cocked my head. “Where’s the others?”
“Hopefully together.”
“And they know where they’re going?”
“Mr. Slade is forty-six, but he’s not that old.”
I furrowed my eyes at him. “That’s only like…fifteen year difference between you two.”
“Hey. Shut up. Just because I could be your grandfather doesn’t mean-”
“My grandfather? Logan, you’re twenty-two.”
“And you’re seventeen, little miss seventeen.”
“Seventeen is fun compared to twenty-two I bet.”
“You bet nothing. Twenty-two is amazing. I can drink.”
“Legally.”
“I didn’t ever drink illegally!”
“Sure. You-”
Another scream intterupted us, bringing us back to the real world. Logan grabbed my arm, dragging me to the door. He peeked out, looked both ways, then dragged me down the hall.
“You don’t have to grip me so hard.”
His grip only got tighter.
We walked silently down the hall. I didn’t think his grip could get tighter until I saw a shadow in front of us. I tried to squiggle my arm out, but it wasn’t working.
Logan silently and slowly pulled a door open. He threw me and himself in, silently closing it behind him. He took a deep, shaky breath. If he was taking shaky breaths, that meant I was hypervenilating, because it seemed to me he was never ever scared and he didn’t really care about the world. He just wanted to get everything done. But that’s not what was on his expression. He was as white as a ghost, his eyes wide, his hands shaking. I had no idea what he had just seen or heard or whatever, but I wasn’t about to find out just then because there was a constant banging against the door. I heard yelling, but couldn’t identify what they were saying.
I scrambled to my feet as he took my hand, guiding me toward the other door. He put a hand over my mouth, opened it, shoved me in, and closed. I don’t know why he had his hand over my mouth. I could barely breathe as it was. It wasn’t until my eyes adjusted to the darkness that I saw them.
They were large, big, small. Adults, children, infants. Piled. Some in glass containers filled with water, the other just lying there. Staring at us with closed eyes or open eyes. Dead eyes. Lifeless eyes. I was squirming, trying not to start screaming. Logan pressed me against him, pressing harder against my mouth.
“Don’t scream.” His voice was the shakiest I’d ever heard it. I was already crying. Bawling. Trying to help my knees to keep me standing. But not even that worked because Logan was slowly slipping down the wall. I hadn’t noticed I was squeezing his hand until I fell on them. He pulled them out from under me and squeezed me against him even more.
“G-G-G-G-G-” I couldn’t even speak. I didn’t know I was trying to speak until he shushed me. Not rudely like he would, but gently. Slowly. Quietly. The stench barely exsisted as I just stared at each and every one of their faces, hoping to God they didn’t feel pain. Hoping to God they were in Heaven. There was one that caught my eye, though, and that’s when I started to scream-sob.
It was Terrence. His lips were stitched together, his blue eyes staring wide eyed at me. At me. I was squirming, trying to get out of Logan’s grasp. But I wasn’t sure what I would do when I did. Run over to him? Run out of this place? There was no where to go. I’d get lost. I’d get killed, even. I think my staring straight at him made Logan finally look at them, and he saw him too, because he flipped me over and pressed my face against his chest as I screamed.
To Be Continued